Let'z Talk !

I've moved on

2011-01-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

Hi my dear friends, I'm reorganizing my blog into one place for easy access. and since I'm really into yoga, i've got an interesting domain for my blog :) For future writings, I'll post it at www.angelyogini.blogspot.com . Keep on reading.. thank you so much..

Happy New Year 2011.. Best of luck and love. :)

Alone & Comfortable

2010-03-20T03:37:00.000-07:00

I love living alone. Period.

I’m very sensitive to scent and sound. I feel nauseous to certain types of scent, which didn’t struck a nerve to some people. Most of all, I love it, love the feeling that when I walk in my apartment , it looks the way it did when I left..

The Secret to true career fulfillment is in you.

2009-06-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

What's my life purpose? How do I find it? Hell of questions, huh ?

Recently I attended the online forum with the author of the very powerful book " A New Earth Awakening to your life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle" , yet another book which changes my perspective ! Love it. But that's not what I want to share in detail in this post, maybe next post : ). After reading the book, I did some research on a particular subject regarding "Strengths" and I found something amazing which I want to share. At work, "do you have the opportunity to do what you do best everyday?" You'll not be fulfilled and happy, unless you are in position to leverage your greatest strengths - those things you do well consistently and energetically.

What are your talents that come easy for you, but are difficult for others? Are you fully leveraging your unique combination of strengths? If you know your unique combination of strengths, and you play to your strengths versus focusing on your weaknesses, you can amplify your results. One of the key things that can hold you back is spending too much focus on your weaknesses and not on your strengths. The better you know your strengths and talents, the better you can pick the right situations or job to leverage your innate abilities. In Now, Discover Your Strengths, Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. identify 34 key signature themes of strength, based on years of empirical research.

34 Themes of Strength and Talent

Familiarize yourself with the 34 key themes of strength. If you can identify your top five themes, you can use the information to start cultivating your strengths for personal excellence and stop focusing on weaknesses. Here are the 34 signature themes of strength according to Buckingham and Clifton:

Achiever - You have a relentless need for achievement. You feel as if everyday starts at zero and you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out.
Activator – You are impatient to start. "When can we start?" is a recurring question in your life.
Adaptability – You live in the moment. You don't see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now.
Analytical – Your Analytical theme challenges other people. "Prove it. Show me why what you are claiming is true." In the face of this kind of questioning some will find that their brilliant theories wither and die. For you this is precisely the point. You do not necessarily want to destroy other people's ideas, but you do insist that their theories be sound.
Arranger – You are a conductor. When faced with a complex situation involving many factors, you enjoy managing all the variables, aligning and realigning them until you are sure you have arranged them in the most productive configuration possible.
Belief – If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high-ethics – both in yourself and others.
Command – Command leads you to take charge. Unlike some people, you feel no discomfort with imposing your views on others. On the contrary, once your opinion is formed, you need to share it with others. You are not frightened by confrontation; rather you know that confrontation is the first step toward resolution.
Communication – You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. This is your Communication theme at work. Ideas are a dry beginning. Events are static. You feel a need to bring them to life, to energize them, to make them exciting and vivid.
Competition – Competition is rooted in comparison. When you look at the world, you are instinctively aware of other people's performance. Their performance is the ultimate yard-stick. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how worthy your intentions, if you reached your goal but did not outperform your peers, the achievement feels hollow.
Connectedness – Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger.
Context – You look back. You look back because that is where the answers lie. You look back to understand the present. From your vantage point the present is unstable, a confusing clamor of competing voices. It is only by casting your mind back to an earlier time, a time when the plans were being drawn up, that the present regains its stability. The earlier time was a simpler time. It was a time of blueprints. As you look back, you being to see these blueprints emerge.
Deliberative – You are careful. You are vigilant. You are a private person. You know that the world is an unpredictable place. Everything may seem in order, but beneath the surface you sense the many risks. Rather than denying these risks, you draw each one out into the open. Then each risk can be identified, assessed, and ultimately reduced.
Developer – You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view, no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow.
Discipline – Your world needs to be predictable. It needs to be ordered and planned. So you instinctively impose structure on your world. You set up routines. You focus on time-lines and deadlines. You break long-term projects into a series of specific short-term plans, and you work through each plan diligently. You are not necessarily neat and clean, but you do need precision. Faced with the inherent messiness of life, you want to feel in control.
Empathy – You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament – this would be sympathy, not empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive power to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone.
Fairness – Balance is important to you. You are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same, no matter what their station in life, so you do not want to see the scales tipped too far in any one person's favor. In your view this leads to selfishness and individualism. It leads to a world where some people gain an unfair advantage because of their connections or their background or their greasing of the wheels. This is truly offensive to you.
Focus – "Where am I headed?" you ask yourself. You ask this question every day. Guided by this theme of Focus, you need a clear destination. Lacking one, you life and your work can quickly become frustrating. And so each year, each month, and even each week you set goals. These goals then serve as your compass, helping you determine priorities and make the necessary corrections to get back on course. Your Focus is powerful because it forces you to filter; you instinctively evaluate whether or not a particular action will help you move toward your goal. Those that don't are ignored.
Futuristic – "Wouldn't it be great if …" You are the kind of person who loves to peer over the horizon. The future fascinates you. As if it were projected on the wall, you see in detail what the future might hold and this detailed picture keeps pulling you forward, into tomorrow. While the exact content of the picture will depend on your other strengths and interests – a better product, a better team, a better life, or a better world – it will always be inspirational to you.
Harmony – You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer them away from confrontational and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can't quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn't we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead look for consensus and support? You believe we would and you live by that belief.
Ideation – You are fascinated by ideas. What is an idea? An idea is a concept, the best explanation of the most events. You are delighted when you discover beneath the complex surface of an elegantly simple concept to explain why things are the way they are. An idea is a connection. Yours is the kind of mind that is always looking for connections, and so you are intrigued when seemingly disparate phenomena can be linked by an obscure connection. An idea is a new perspective on familiar challenges. You revel in taking the world we all know and turning it around so we can view it from a strangely enlightening angle. You love all these ideas because they are profound, because they are novel, because they are clarifying, because they are contrary, because they are bizarre. For all these reasons, you derive a jolt of energy whenever a new idea occurs to you. Others may label you as creative or original or conceptual or even smart.
Inclusiveness – "Stretch the circle wider." This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You have the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so they can feel the warmth of any group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person's feelings.
Individualization – Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or "types" because you don't want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. You instinctively observe each person's style, each person's motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships. You hear the one-of-a-kind stories in each person's life. This theme explains why you pick your friends just the right birthday gift, why you know that one person prefers praise in public and another detests it, and why you tailor your teaching style to accommodate one person's need to be shown and another person's desire to "figure it out as I go." Because you are such a keen observer of other people's strengths, you can draw out the best in each person. This Individualization theme also helps you build productive teams. While some search around for the perfect team "structure" or "process," you know instinctively that the secret to great teams is casting by individual strengths so that everyone can do a lot of what they do well.
Input – You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information – words, facts, books, and quotations – or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but rather, to add more information to your archives.
Intellection – You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the "muscles" of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person's feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or the introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Whatever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.
Learner – You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered – this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences – yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments that are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and move on to the next one. The Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the "getting there."
Maximizer – Excellence, not average, is your measure. Taking something from below average to slightly above average takes a great deal of effort and in your opinion is not very rewarding. Transforming something strong into something superb takes just as much effort but is much more thrilling. Strengths, whether yours or some else's, fascinate you. Like a diver after pearls, you search them out, watching for the telltale signs of a strength. A glimpse of untutored excellence, rapid learning, a skill mastered without resource to steps – all these are clues that a strength may be in play. And having found a strength, you feel compelled to nurture it, refine it, and stretch it towards excellence. You polish the pearl until it shines. This natural sorting of strengths means that others see you as discriminating. You choose to spend time with people who appreciate your particular strengths. Likewise, you are attracted to others who have found and cultivated their own strengths. You tend to avoid those who want to fix you and make you well rounded. You don't want to spend your life becoming what you lack. Rather, you want to capitalize on the gifts with which you are blessed. It's more fun. It's more productive. And, counter intuitively, it is more demanding.
Positivity – You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you light-hearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won't allow it. Somehow you can't quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one's sense of humour.
Relater - Relater describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relater theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people – in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends – but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk – you might be taken advantage of – but you are willing to accept the risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly.
Responsibility – Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalization are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable.
Restorative – You love to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and finding the solution. You may prefer practical problems or conceptual ones or personal ones. You may seek out specific kinds of problems that you have met many times before and that you are confident you can fix. Or you may feel the greatest push when faced with complex and unfamiliar problems. Your exact preferences are determined by your other themes and experiences. But what is certain is that you enjoy bringing things back to life. It is something to its true glory. Intuitively, you know that without your intervention, this thing – this machine, this technique, this person, this company – might have ceased to function. You fixed it, resuscitated it, rekindled its vitality. Phrasing it the way you might, you saved it.
Self-assurance – Self-assurance is similar to self-confidence. In the deepest part of you, you have faith in your strengths. You know that you are able – able to take risks, able to meet new challenges, able to stake claims, and, most important, able to deliver. But self-assurance is more than just self-confidence. Blessed with the theme of Self-assurance, you have confidence not only in your abilities but in your judgment. When you look at the world, you now that no one can make your decisions for you. No one can tell you what to think. They can guide. They can suggest. But you alone have the authority to form conclusions, make decisions, and act. This authority, this final accountability for the living of your life, does not intimidate you. On the contrary, it feels natural to you. No matter what the situation, you seem to know what the right decision is. This theme lends you an aura of certainty. Unlike many, you are not easily swayed by someone else's arguments, no matter how persuasive they may be. This Self-assurance may be quiet or loud, depending on your other themes, but it is solid. It is strong. Like the keel of a ship, it withstands many different pressures and keeps you on your course.
Significance – You want to be very significant in the eye of other people. In the truest sense of the word you want to be recognized. You want to be heard. You want to stand out. You want to be known. In particular, you want to be known and appreciated for the unique strengths you bring. You feel a need to be admired as credible, professional, and successful. Likewise, you want to associate with others who are credible, professional and successful. And if they aren't, you will push them to achieve, until they are. Or, you will move on. An independent spirit, you want your work to be a way of life rather than a job, and in that work you want to be given free reign, the leeway to do things your way. Your yearnings feel intense to you, and you honor those yearnings. And so your life is filled with goals, achievements, or qualifications that you crave. Whatever your focus – and each person is distinct – your Significance theme will keep pulling you upward, away from the mediocre toward the exceptional. It is the theme that keeps your reaching.
Strategic – The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, "What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?" This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential for obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path – your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: "What if?" Select. Strike.
Woo – Woo stands for winning others over. You enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you. Strangers are rarely intimidating to you. On the contrary, strangers can be energizing. You are drawn to them. You want to learn their names, ask them questions, and find some area of common interest so that you can strike up conversation and build rapport. Some people shy away from starting up conversations because they worry about running out of things to say. You don't. Not only because you are rarely at a loss for words, but you actually enjoy initiating with strangers because you derives satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection. Once the connection is made, you are quite happy to wrap it up and move on. There are new people to meet, new rooms to work, new crowds to mingle in. In your world there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet – lots of them.

How To Identify Your Strengths

My goodness, I didn't know this exercise would be so tedious, I thought I have all that in myself ? It's hell of an exercise to only list 5 ! I need to go through 3 passes to whittle it down to my 5 core strengths. During the 2nd pass, I realized that most of the strengths I listed are those I would like to have, or strengths expected of me from others, or overtime I've trained myself to have that strengths required of me ! When I "really" ask myself what comes most natural to me consistently and energetically ? Then, everything becomes clearer.

On my first pass, I made the following list:
Adaptability;Analytical;connectedness;discipline;empathy;fairness;focus;futuristic;harmony;ideation;individualization;intellection;learner;maximizer;positivity;relater;responsibility; self-assurance; significance; strategic
On my second, pass, I modified some of my choices and whittled it down to the following 10 strengths: Adaptability; discipline; empathy; focus; Ideation; intellection; learner; positivity; self- assurance; strategic
On my third, pass, I modified some of my choices and whittled it down to the following 5 strengths: Adaptability; Ideation; Learner; Positivity; Strategic

I don't know that I've yet got the precision I need but it's a start. I plan to ask others for their feedback and to help me find my blind spots. I also plan to take the Strengths Finder evaluation.

Taking the Strengths Finder Evaluation

You can go to the authors' site at StrengthFinder.com - http://strengthsfinder.com/ and take the evaluation. You need a copy of the book, Now, Discover Your Strengths, for an access code to take the evaluation.

My Best Friends Wedding

2009-05-31T02:44:00.000-07:00

Yet another best friend's wedding on a blissful island. I think we have somewhat made this hotel as "our wedding place". But, *Wi doubts she'll have her wedding here. For me, I still hope my wedding will be like *Liz's, small, simple, on the paradise island (wedding-on-paradise-island ), but then again, wedding shouldn't be about the venue, isn't it ? :) I'm still hopeful though… LOL.I haven't seen *Joey for almost 3 years, but the bond that we have is as close as when we were

together in highschool. Well, some thing just doesn't change !

Thank God for the swine flu that my US plan was delayed, and I could make it for all the wedding receptions. My flight touched down in Penang just 4 hours before the wedding reception, and I went straight to meet her. (Pls forgive me Ma that I didn't go home first ! :)) The moment we saw each other and hugged, all the gaps being apart over the years naturally diminished, and replaced with the memories that we last had, and the moments we are about to share. She looked so happy, and stunning. Love her wedding dress ! :P and all the maid of honor looked so beautiful complimenting her. It reminds me of *Jane's wedding in last Dec. Of course, then I couldn't have as much fun as this time, I was the maid of honor and got to work ! :)

The garden reception was held exactly where *Jane's reception was.. Felt so dejavoo :). *Steve looked really happy, they both looked so gorgeously in love ! They must be so lucky to have found each other in the wide blue ocean of people, and be in love this way. The most amazing feeling in the world is to look at someone you care, and know they feel the same way about you. It is beautiful wedding like that which makes me keep believing that love does exist…

I say a little prayer for you *Joey & *Steave, same prayer I said for *Jane & *James, *Jessie & YW, " I asked God to keep you safe and give you all the best. I hope you are joyful and strong, compassionate and sincere. I hope you believe in love, and are able to love without fear... "

The light of conciousness

2009-05-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

When there's no light in your life, darkness takes over, and everything changes.

I visited him again today, he's been discharged, and I asked him how's life in the "dark" world". He didn't talk much. I broke the news to him that I'll be leaving Malaysia soon, and this should be the last time I'm visiting him until the next time I'm back again. It was a teary scene, but I tried to hold myself together in order not to sound too different to him. I guess that's the best part of talking to a blind person, you can hide your emotions ! He couldn't see the devastation on all our faces. He was always the negative devil advocate and I'm always the positive one when we worked together, and yet, I haven't seen him cry before no matter how tough it was. Today, I saw that, that face.. you know, when you can't hold them anymore, it's too much and you need to let it out.. that face.. and it broke my heart seeing tears flowing from his eyes…

I told him, "There's miracle in this universe. Believe in it."

I thought my job was to share joyful and hopeful moments in a terrifying time. I talked to him some of the silly things happen in outlet, and we laughed. After a while, the mood was lightened, and I noticed a significant shift in his energy field, he started to share. He told me this is the first time all his family members gathered in a place, all his siblings and mum came from every part of the world, eventhough he hoped not in this circumstance, but he felt contented.

Somehow, I felt so relief after today's conversation with him. Probably, he made me feel that he has accepted it, and he is adjusting his lifestyle and moving on. Most of all, I was humbled by his ability to look at the bright side.

Just because a situation is grim doesn't mean you don't have every right to smile. I know that in life there'll be sickness, devastation, disappointments, heart ache- it's a given. What's not a given is the way you choose to get through it all.. If you look hard enough, and be present, you can always find the light...

Unbelievable

2009-04-15T01:51:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't been checking in for while. Truth is I don't know what to write, so much has been going on, and none were good. For a yoga teacher who is always mindful and present, I'm overwhelmed with the tremendous change around me, and sometimes I'm not sure what happened. But, I guess life happened..

A good friend and colleague of mine has turned handicap in just months. After months of battling with the virus which infected his eyes, *Johnny was devastated upon hearing there's nothing else the specialist could do. He kept blaming himself for not consulting the doctor earlier. Everyone was shocked that an infection which everyone thought was minor could steal his eyesight away... forever.

This is so unfair… :(

This shouldn't have happened to him, :( I just cannot believe it. I felt like a huge anvil had fallen on me. My first reaction was to transfer him to Singapore hospital, but his family members refused. I visited him and he didn't want to see anyone.. everyone was saddened.
This cannot be happening ? :( How did he be so stubborn about his own health and not consulting doctors when he felt the discomfort ?

Little "Colbie Caillat" Singapore !

2009-03-05T09:42:00.000-08:00

I was in Paragon today, and guess what ? I couldn't find a place to sit in starbucks ! Looks like the economy isn't so bad after all :) But sad for me, I had to settle less than what I wanted -My contractor and I ended up having meeting in coffee bean ! *Irene was here too with her husband ! I love both of them.. They are real jokers.. Full of shit which made you laugh really hard. We spent so long trying to figure out the awkward layout of the outlet ! I was so tired today… haven't been resting much for the past days.

After the meeting, I went to a pretty cool place called Indo-Chine, it's a bistro, pub & restaurant. When I entered the pub, I saw a kid, and I was wondering what is this 8 years old doing in this place? Later I realized that she has a voice of Colbie Caillat !!! Yes … Colbie Caillat ! She sang my favourite duet, "Lucky by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat" with the live boyband that night! Wow.. I was mesmerized when she opened her mouth and sang this part.... "Boy I hear you in my dreams, I feel your whisper across the sea, I keep you with me in my heart,You make it easier when life gets hard..... "

She sang "Bubbly" too ... Her voice really carry the song well. She's so friendly and cute..

Wow.. Wow.. Wow.. that was so impressive. bravo ! bravo ! She's so good… at 8 years old ! I'm going there again tomorrow if she's there ;) She really made my day...:) )

Back To Singapore

2009-03-03T08:54:00.000-08:00

Driving in Singapore is definitely easier with the car’s gprs navigator compared to driving in Malaysia.. ;) It’s so comprehensive and I could go anywhere with ease, especially finding ECP, CTE,SLE… all the highways!! This is the first time I drove into Singapore since I moved to Bangkok 3 years ago. For the past days, I’ve been driving around just like old times.. ;) meeting up with friends, and relatives. Everything still looked the same, except that there’s a new expressway KPE and additional “bus lane” like Jakarta ! :)

Coming back to Singapore this round allows me to stay a little longer, really catching up with where I left. It's a little emotional though, this is a special place for me, the "found and lost" experience was overwhelming. But, I believed time will heal everything. The economy is slow, my engineer friends are forced to take 2 days unpaid leave every week ! My ex-company where I used to work as a software engineer was shutdown for 1 month.

I'm living in the supposedly busiest street in this country, and yet, I could feel the chill ! We used to have 1 store on this street 3 years ago. I'm sure lots have changed since, even the foodcourt tenant has changed ! Starbucks is no longer on the street front ! They used to monopolize every few meters and corners. Now, they are only in the mall. It's still convenient for me though.. :) Eventhough the economy is slower, how come Four Seasons and Hilton hotel are full ? ? ? I just don't understand. I ended up in Park Hotel the first night, but I moved to the next door, Meritus Mandarin Orchard the next day.. Not because the man-next-door is cuter :) but because Park Hotel's room is unbelievably small and old, and it's definitely not worth the rate ! Mandarin gave me a pretty good rate since I'll stay here for a while. I'm glad I made the right choice..

I met up with my former business partners at Parkway Parade. We used to have a store here too. This place has changed so much. I remembered I used to drink almost 7-9 cups of coffee from Ya kun everyday, that was our 3rd store, which we opened one day after we opened the 2nd store ! We were so new, and there were so much to do, and I was hyper stressed ! Of course, 8 months down the road, I ended up in Changi Hospital .. Caffeine intoxication ! ! My friends saw my facebook photos, and they thought I got married to *Ele, and they were not surprised ! I couldn't believe they always thought there's no man good enough for me who can make me fall in love ! That's totally overrating !! I'm just looking for a simple man.. Who probably owns a 5-star hotel , because I love living in hotel and have my bed tidied daily, and towels changed every alternate days ! :) *dreaming in Angel Land* . Anyway, the meeting was great, I'm sure we'll be able to come up with something more comprensive. They are the best business partners anyone could have, why I say so ? Eventhough we loss so much money in the business years back, we are still able to sit on the same dinner table now as friends,talk,joke & laugh like before. Best of all, still haven't given up on the business, and hoping we could start all over in this country !

It's nice meeting up with old friends and catch up… especially those in Junior College now.. They made me feel younger :). They were so happy to see me, "big sister", that's what they called me when they used to work with me in Parkway&Tampines during their long break after O-level. I remembered giving them advice on what course to choose then, I'm glad most of them went to JC. Somehow they had little clue why I'm in Singapore, they were all excited and starting to apply for a job !! But, I told them they were wrong, this is mainly a leisure trip for me ! :)

I babysit my sister's babies too.. They made me feel motherly :P . I went to yoga studio… that made me feel peaceful and whole.. :) I'm thinking to meet up with Jean, and see if I can teach in the studio :).

I still love this place, eventhough I hated it for 3 years ! My sister's becoming a Singaporean, and I'm considering… I'm sorry Malaysia.. I'm tired of you..

Common Sense

2009-02-25T08:12:00.000-08:00

My morning was spoiled because my friend a.k.a my contractor canceled the meeting 30 minutes before the time we were supposed to meet. I'm pretty sensitive when it comes to appointments, because that tells how much one respect the other's time. It reminds me of an incident happened recently.When I was in Bangkok last weekend, I was being stood up by someone too. I was so mad because it was supposed to be a date, and he didn't call to say that he will be late for 5 hours ! Not only he didn't call, he couldn't be reached ! I don't remember the last time I cursed as hard as that day. On second thought, I shouldn't be furious at my contractor friend, at least he called to cancel the appointment !

I was feeling troubled the whole day.. thinking what kind of people would bail on someone without notice ? I would over my dead body ! If there was an emergency, I would call the first thing I knew I couldn't make it for the date, apologize and explain profusely, just so that the person understood I didn't mean to bail on him. My therapist friend who came back from Ca quickly realized something was troubling me during lunch.. So, I shared with her the incident in bkk which made me feel like a complete idiot and should I even see this person again !? Would you?

*Celia explained to me what kind of person would do that to other person.. It's only one kind with 2 perceptions on the person he bailed on. When a situation requires a person to choose, it's human nature to forego the person/thing which is less important in their perception at that moment, or he knew the other person very well, he was very sure the person would still be there when he comes back, and forgive him when he apologizes ! But, to bail on someone without informing before hand, that would be only one kind with 1 perception -jerk ! Then, we both laughed out so loudly ! Thanks *Celia for making me laugh ! :)

I was afraid I was over reacting, even with *Celia's professional analysis, that didn't convince me completely for she's my friend, and there could be a little bias judgment, so I thought. The curious me did a little survey myself… I questioned a few people with different educational level & career background.. The office cleaner, the chef, the managers, the directors. "what would you do if you couldn't make it to a date last minute because something important came up? " . The directors, managers and chef's answers go without saying.. They are at the same page as me ! But the office cleaner couldn't understand in the beginning, after a comprehensive explanation and examples, she managed to answer… she said she has never experienced that, but she thinks she will call if the person is someone close to her ! Well.. I told her even if that person is not close to you, you still call, and she nodded with a smile :).

Well, to be honest..it's not a big deal to cancel an appointment because of some important things came up. The matter became a huge deal when the person couldn't be bothered to inform before hand. I could sum up in 2 words… "Common sense". You couldn't make it to a date, you call to inform ! It doesn't take a genius to know how to do that, neither does it take a saint to do that. You just do that..

Legend-of-igy-queen

2009-02-18T01:07:00.000-08:00

Movie preview : http://zleenz.blogspot.com/2009/02/legend-of-igy-queen.html

Love ya'll

2009-02-15T23:54:00.000-08:00

I’d had in mind to write about my Korean counterpart visits and our company ISO certification, and then I remembered that Valentine’s Day is here. So, of course, I thought of flowers and love, eventhough I'm not used to celebrate love on a 'particular' day, for I'm loving every minute of everyday of my life :) But, I do received several invitations and surprised gifts from thousands of miles away (Thanks everyone for making me so special :) ) . I wasn't planning to accept any invitation because I have something important coming up this weekend. Then I received an invitation to have a candle light dinner from someone dear to my heart, and I thought why not? It's just 3.5 hrs drive, and I had a 'model' favour to do there anyway.. So.. The date was on !

At dinner last night, at a romantic restaurant overseeing the sea, we both were reminiscing the good old days we shared in school. We were 'notorious' in a good way ! Our laughter could be heard from the other block of the school, our 'barks' could never stopped unless it was heard by the policymaker - the principal, and our little sense of 'wittiness' always brought glory and victory to the school ! We remembered vividly our seating in the classroom, and how we conquered all the 4 corners with 'our people'. Teachers love and hate us ! They love us for we are the high achievers group in academy and cocuriculum, they hate us because we made them cried ! I think Mr.Loh SH always wonder how did we score in our add maths ! We celebrate our 20 years of friendship last night… *Hugsss.

It was a loving weekend hanging out with *Ele, *Azleena & *Jane, doing crazy & fun stuff like old days ! I really wish that will be something that we do for very long time. It felt so good !

I remembered being taught about different energies and chakras in my yoga course. I had so many negative things thrown in my path since my yoga training. Some people has odd vibe, and that's what we call "bad energies". I felt my energy was positive today because you girls are full of positive energies… thanks for sharing your energy with me.. Love ya'll..

My Tarot Reading for V-day :

Today, your love life is under the sign of friendship and tenderness, angel. Your relationships are under the protection of Temperance and the Empress, which means they will be comfortable and rewarding. If you're single, events surrounding a platonic relationship could lead to great happiness. If you have a partner, you'll be feeling very well disposed toward your significant other and ready to follow them to the ends of the earth. All this may lead to a new outlook on life! At work, if you have projects on the go or goals that you need to achieve - go for it today, as this is a good moment. The Magician and Temperance are an ideal pair for supporting your efforts: They inspire you with the necessary dynamism, but at the same time activate your intelligence. And the result: an excellent potential for getting positive results.

There's still hope :)

2009-02-03T06:41:00.000-08:00

Jane, Just read your post "fork you"... Sabar (in malay), Jai yen yen (in Thai) = be cool !

I understand how you feel… I felt the same too in the beginning, but I think that's part and parcel of being with someone ! Yes? No? Anyway, I wanna share something with you ... I felt so hopeless for the past days. I don't remember when was the last time I felt this low and negative... "record low".. Going in and out of hospital had landed me straight into depression ! I was shocked to hope that I won't wake up for tomorrow , there seemed to be nothing to look forward, even Starbucks are closing down stores… :( and the person I trusted so much had let me down.

I remembered being warned many times to be wary with my heart when I used it so generously. Yes, I've never protected myself as much as I protect the person I loved and cared, for I always have faith in people and I believe there's good in everyone. But, I was slapped by reality recently that a person can be so manipulative in words and actions, ignoring the mistakes made, on the other hand creating a non-existent & non-relevant 'mistake' at this moment which attributed to the other party just to level with it, Instead of acknowledging the mistake, he made it as though you are the one who committed the mistake and made you feel bad and guilty ! I'm not sure what am I talking ! Yeah.. It's confusing and complicating…that's the state of my mind for the past days.. Simply put, he was just finding fault instead of solving the real problem at present.

I don't understand why is it like that ? I don't like to bid around the bush, nor circling a vicious cycle… I think life has more meaningful things to do than finding fault with each other over the same things again and again. Is there a purpose to this kind of wasted energy , besides damaging a beautiful relationship ? I admit that things are always not rosy, every now and then there'll be conflict, discovery of skeleton in the closet, disagreement on the same issues, where there's relationship, there's conflict because we are human, and human make mistakes. It's about how we handle when issue arises… To me, "being sincere" is the word. I think by coming forth and admit it, talking it through once and for all, and promise it'll never happened again, it's actually a progress to the relationship, and from there we grow to better understand each other. What would Love be without the silly fights, Without something to make it right. But I know it's very difficult for someone to admit their mistake… Is it so difficult to say "I screwed up, I'm sorry. Can we move on from here? ". I thought so, until today…

I felt so hopeless with everything until today when I watched the President's interview with the NBC …

He plainly said " I screwed up". I was shocked ! I was hoping (desperately waiting!) to hear these 3 words since week ago, though from somebody else and totally unrelated matter, but it caught my attention. I thought it's something which is too difficult to voice out, especially from 'a man'. But, he opened my eyes to what a 'real' man means… Someone who own up his mistakes.

The TV interviews came as Tom Daschle, Obama's choice for health and human services secretary and Nancy Killefer, his pick for federal spending watchdog, both pulled out of contention on Tuesday over a failure to pay some taxes. President Obama also took part of the blame because he appointed these folks. "I'm here on television saying I screwed up, and that's part of the era of responsibility. It's not never making mistakes; it's owning up to them and trying to make sure you never repeat them and that's what we intend to do."

Wow… he's the man… Apparently, there's still hope … :) I want a real man, nothing less ! I'm recovering well from depression...

"Jatuh ditimpa tangga "

2009-01-22T20:11:00.000-08:00

It's a Malay proverb. It means " hit by a series of bad luck". If anyone wonders how much can go wrong in a day... I'll tell you- this much ------------

I went to bed very early last night for I'll be having a long day travelling tomorrow, so I thought. But no matter how hard I tried to shut down, I couldn't, being bothered by something which requires me to make a tough decision, I ended up not resting well. After my morning session of yoga, and a healthy breakfast, I was all ready to set out for the day. Then, something went wrong with my car central locking. Little did I expect this was just the beginning of a very wrong day !

I couldn't unlock the car ! This is bad.. I thought.. Because you can't manually unlock a BMW car! I was stuck in the car! I was fully awake by then, the problem which clouded my mind since last night was gone for a moment. Even the remote control was not working. Then I realized one of the passenger's doors was unlocked, thank God! I climbed out of the car, and tried to unlock from outside, but to no avail. Damn. I don't know what was in my mind, to cancel my trip or find other alternative. So, I thought we could use Hiro's car, but luck just wasn't on our side today, his car's road tax sticker was stolen today when he collected it from the workshop ! which means, his car was not an option.

We decided to delay all the appointments, and sent the car to the service centre to rectify the problem. Petrol was low, so we stopped at the gas station first.. Guess what, I couldn't open the petrol tank door! Oh no... I forgot even it was controlled by the central locking system! At that moment, I really hate luxury car.. f***. So, now what..? I only have petrol which could bring me as far as 46km.. And the service centre is in the town about 25km away, and God knows how congested that place is.. We just needed to drive sparingly and avoid high traffic area. We made it anyway ! :)

So, while the engineer looked at the car and fixed the problem, I checked through my stuff and rescheduled all my appointments for the day. I went through my E66 calendar, it's the best Nokia ever created, I could do everything with it. But, you know what, I just realized it's not as perfect as I thought, and I had to pay a super high price to find out ! When I select "delete" on my calendar entries, there are 3 options- "entry"," before date" and "all entries". Normally I'll select delete "entry", but today, I select delete "all entries" thinking to delete all the entries for the day and reschedule the day. After I pressed the phone button, I was stunned for a moment and almost went crazy when I realized it bloody deleted my whole calendar's entries.. all the records in my phone were wiped off ! I reminded myself to breathe... Breathe... Immediately my software engineer instinct asked me to look for "cltr Z" button, but there was no undo button! That .was. it . My organizer is now as clean as new … !@#$%^&@)_!!

How could Nokia E66 have such a screw up feature ? This is very important for Nokia to take note, how can such crucial feature be activated without a second confirmation message box, telling people what does that delete "all entries" means? All entries for the day or for the month or for the year or ...?? It won't hurt to add an additional message, but it will save a whole lot of information. Am I the only stupid user around or have this feature victimized many users?

I went out to take some air and keep breathing... I could feel that my blood was gushing from my feet to my brain, the last time I tried to back up my phone, it failed. Calmly, I tried to recall everything.. Meetings, To-do's, doctor's appointments, yoga classes, and all the important dates... so help me God ! Then, The car's engineer approached me telling me not to worry, he had temporary fixed the problem for me to carry on my road trip, but I'll need to bring back for a thorough check-up. Little did he know my pale face wasn't because I was worry about the car, but it's all the other things in my mind.. :( Finally, after 2 hours delayed, I was on the road heading for east coast for the first meeting visiting the new mall, very much delayed but we made it there. The meeting was smooth, and the location looks promising. I think we are almost decided to invest there, providing that they give us a good deal..

After having a Thai cuisine dinner which very much missed at black canyon, we departed for another state. By the time we reached Rotiboy outlet, it's almost 9pm for the 2nd meeting with the contractor and outlet supervisor. I was almost loosing my always under controlled temper when I heard the contractor will not be able to finish the works as planned tonight, but I saw Hiro was more upset, and the contractors kept apologizing, I tried to mediate the tense situation a little. They tried to explain, first because there's a 4 hrs black out in the mall later, secondly, they were not well prepared with the materials for this trip. They need to make another trip to finish up... I accepted their explanation, and tried to rearrange the works, but I felt so disappointed with their inefficient way of working. They only managed to complete 60% of whatever they were supposed to complete for this trip, which means there's outstanding needs to be followed up again, and it's Chinese New Year next week. It'll take another 2 weeks for everyone to be back at work ! sigh... double sigh... :(

On a separate issue, the mall black-out will affect our operations too, the chilled dough may proof overnight in chiller if the black out is longer than expected and all our dough will be wastage if they are proofed in chiller before the next morning . The supervisors took some prevention action, but wasn't enough. They chilled the dough while it's 20% proofed, which was very good. But they could have done better if they arrange the frozen dough later at night. The smaller the size, the safer it is for this situation. By the time I was there, the dough was almost 40% proofed. If the black-out takes more than 5 hours which was the latest update from the mall, everything in the 2 chillers can be discarded. So, what do we do ? The electricity will be out in a couple of minutes, and I wasn't feeling safe enough with the arrangement. If I were to take that kind of risk, I think I would rather do something which could make me sleep peacefully tonight. We needed to simulate the chiller's environment without the presence of electricity. I instructed the staff to make space in the chiller for hundreds of frozen dough from the freezer. Experience tells me that frozen dough which directly being placed in the chiller will use at least 5 hours from the time the chiller's off at 2 degree to defrost. During this process, the chiller will remain cold at about 8 degree as long as the door remain closed, and so the other bigger dough will remain retarded even when the chiller's off. So, we are safe now.. :) I was sure the supervisors learned something beneficial today, and now I know the reason we arrived late..

The day was getting better, we drove to another city which was closer to the other Rotiboy outlet in the state for tomorrow's meeting. It's about 1 hr away. It's past midnight when I walked into Primula Beach Resort and tried to look for a receptionist.. The night manager came out to greet me, looked a little surprised though, that a lady checking in at this hour asking for 2 rooms. He looked a little puzzled, but before he asked anything, I told him my friend was parking the car and gave him my biz card to check in, and he became so excited telling me how much his daughter love rotiboy ! I only smiled, I was too tired by then to even talk.. I only requested the manager to give me a sea view and nice bathtub room. The bizarre thing about this place is, eventhough it's a tourism area like Samui, rural with nice beaches, but there isn't a really nice hotel like those in Samui. This is supposedly the best beach resort in town, but it's a bit old and not comparable. After settling the admin stuff, all I could think of was heading to my room and take a good rest. I wasn't expecting any help because I travelled light, and I didn't see any bellboy on duty... I was impressed that the manager stopped me and insisted to help me with the luggage.. After a "long and wrong day", finally something which the manager said just compliment my day... "A lady shouldn't have to carry her luggage..." Wow, how come Venetians Macau which has a rate 15 times more than this hotel doesn't have this kind of service mind ?

At 2 am, finally I get to rest and I was amused when I saw the digital master control switch by the bedside.. Even this hotel has this. How did Venetians missed it ? Anyway, I was so glad that the very "long and wrong" day is over now, eventhough I'm going to bed with a mind full of things, I prayed for a peaceful sleep tonight…

Tomorrow will be a better day...

The change has come...

2009-01-20T08:13:00.000-08:00

Cheers to the first African-American President of United States of America … :) I've always loved him, especially his character (very "yeng" :)) , the way he speaks and he's left-handed (I kinda have a thing for left-handed man" :) ) . His Inaugural speech was impressive, for the 15-20 minutes speech, there's no reference or whatsoever ! wow.. powerful speech...

"Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many.
They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. "

Not a good dancer though... :) But he's such a loving man.. you can tell by just the way he glanced and held his wife in public..

He's not a typical leader coming from a typical "well-laid" background. Reading his background, it impressed me how long he has travelled to be where he is today. He came from a broken family. He grew up in indonesia with his mum and stepfather. Furthermore, with a middle-east name, "Hussein" as his middle name, many have been debating "who is obama ?". Some sources even said that he's a muslim who has concealed his religion, and he was enrolled in Jakarta's Muslim Wahabbi schools. Wahabbism is the radical teaching that created the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad on the rest of the world, and later attended a Catholic school in Indonesia ! He was sent back to Hawaii at age 10 to be raised by his white maternal grandparents and to attend the prestigious Punahou Academy. Later he got a law degree from Havard Law. Wow... it's a profound cruise, isn't it... from Hawaii, to Indonesia, to Kenya, back to Hawaii, ...

I've always supported him during the campaigns, but deep inside I never thought a black could ever be the president. This is truly a breakthrough for the nation. He was elected because the nation understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. The challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in threat, the worst financial crisis in a century. The road ahead will be long. The climb will be steep. He's the best candidate for the job, considering his complicated upbringing and vast exposure to different cultures and races.

The work of remaking the nation… This is going to be another history in the making … :)

New Year...

2009-01-05T08:26:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year !

I stared at the screen for hours hoping to type some new year resolutions, but my mind was blank, I don't know for certain what I hope for, I only know there'll be changes,and I'm going to go with the flow of nature. Change is necessary for good things to happen. No matter how bad the economy turns out, even if everything around is falling apart, I still hope I'm mindful enough to breathe into the present, and live my best life… and still be hopeful that everyday is a new day for new beginning..

Every economist, feng shui master, business people, predicts this will be a daunting year. We haven't really reached the peak of the problems yet. We are probably one third through this difficult cycle. The fengshui master, Joey yap foresees the first half of 2009 as being "all right", as a buyer, he suggest you make your investments and acquisitions in the second half of the year, while as a seller, do it in the first half ! I never believe by hard in this psychic kind of thing, but it seems not a bad idea to open myself to different perspective, just as long as I stay neutral.. :) Guess what? Someone who doesn't believe in "this kind" of thing me, went to have a "2009 Vedic Horoscope reading " - hoping for a précised prediction for balanced life ! Well, it was an enjoyable reading, and it's nice to know what bound to happen for this year, and what should or shouldn't do to avoid certain things, but I still believe in God's arrangement for me… :)

I guess during this bad time, many people will be swayed by the force of reality, for the sake of the sense of security, people may do whatever that makes them feel confident and courageous. I think we shouldn't fret as this is necessary cleansing for better times to come. What could make us feel safe is… "ourselves", and our spirituality awareness, which is within ourselves. People need to remain optimistic about what they can do. They need to look out for opportunities. Wait for the market to take its huge fall, then it will be time to go shopping. Underneath all these, lie opportunities, things used to be expensive will be cheaper now, if you had been preserving cash, now you would have the money to buy and expand. I think the best thing to invest in is yourself. Everyone has 2 hands, 2 legs and the same 24hrs, instead of saying you are worst off because the economy is deteriorating, why don't you think how you can value add. Under such circumstances, we just need to do our job better, and not to blame other people. The best things is every day brings a chance to start over ..:)

Indeed this is a "real" year for me to discover what I really need for my life. One thing for sure is breathing… :) Start from my breath... and stay with my breath ... I need to have lots of faith in myself this year in order for me to trust and have faith in others. Perhaps, I need to look within myself and see what needs to let go, in order to have better things coming into my live…

It's going to be another great & profound year, I promise... :)

Year end…

2008-12-31T07:46:00.000-08:00

It's the time of the year for self-reflection and evaluation again !! I read my last new year post, I felt so proud of myself that I had lived the life I've set out in the beginning of the year :). It wasn't exactly a smooth year, but it was definitely a year of transformation. 2008 was a year which potentially could change my life forever had I made certain decisions differently. Time flies and I am here at the exact same place where I was last year on a new year eve, room 1154, this used to be my home when I was based here last year.

The most amazing and unexpected thing that happened this year was I got myself certified as a yoga teacher ! I've lived a richer and happier life, but being certified a yoga teacher was not in my plan, not until 4 months before the course. My teacher wrote a note for me during the graduation, he said " hard work always pays off, you are wealthy beyond measure. The harder you work, the harder your student will work " , I know he didn't mean wealth as in $$$.. Because that can't be true.. :) I would like to believe he meant "Spirituality." That message really meant a lot to me.. Thank you.

I've lived a yoga life, and I've inspired people to live a healthy life too… at least, one person ! - someone who hasn't been exercising for 10 over years, now he goes to the gym as often as I do, running on a treadmill, and carrying weight… wow.. It's a huge transformation. Next, I'm going to get him be my yoga student :) From what I observed, he is flexible by nature..

Professionally, the company is definitely moving forward. It wasn't a smooth sailing ship, but I believed we've got good captains on board who were working together towards a common goal. It's ashamed that we've got to close down some shops which are not profiting, but I guess that's business, especially at this time where the economy is becoming worse and worse each day, and no one can tell where's the peak of the worst! Things didn't always happen the way I want it though, people may not see the things that I see, or believe the values that I believe, It's all about giving and taking when it comes to working together. When I shared my working story with my dad, he used to tell me a Chinese proverbs which sounds like "a mountain can never have 2 tigers", it means there can never be 2 persons with powerful character in a territory… I thought for a while, and my mind travelled to my bangkok's company, and I understood then that why the "2 dragons" couldn't work together no matter how hard I tried to be the mediator. My only regret was I didn't come back earlier, had I shortened my korea stay then, perhaps I'll be telling a more beautiful story now. It's the timing, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Another highlight for this year is I think I've lost a friend. It didn't feel good to realize that someone who you trusted turned out to be someone who betrayed the company, and worst of all, didn't even have balls to step forward and admit his little dirty scam. I guess that's the "real" world, I realized that in the "real" world, nobody is "real ! How irony.. :) For all the bad things that happened, I still feel gratified for the good things that it brought along.. It's amazing how the force of universe works, sometimes things which may seem to be bad could turned out good ! We've experienced the best and the worst moments of the business in the past 4 years, I guess whatever comes along would be manageable.

I feel so calm today, a little emotional though.. looking back the 365 days that I've lived, there's nothing that I would do differently if given another chance to go back… :) Besides My best friend got married :( , I think this is a loving year spent with close friends and family. (But I know she loves me more than her hubby :))

It's a truly fulfilling and energetic year… :)

Venetians or "Very-sien" !

2008-12-30T01:12:00.000-08:00

p/s : "sien" = bored in Hokkien

Having a holiday in Venetians would definitely be exceptionally beautiful and well-pampered, so I thought ! Furthermore, paying almost USD400 for a night (not inclusive of breakfast!), which was triple the u.p, I thought this all suites resort hotel built by the world’s largest standard suites and Las Vegas's most elegant casino group would make me leave with much reluctance. Instead, my holiday was shortened because after the 3rd day staying here, we got bored, and above all, we were disappointed.

We arrived at Macau about noon. We took the shuttle bus, all excited heading to the most-talk about hotel in the city, only to find it disappointing that we were paying for a 7 stars service but ended up a self-service hotel ! The entrance was extravagantly designed with gold colours shades. While I was entering the hotel, I felt a little surprised to see the reception hall was flooded with people, somehow my instinct told me this cannot be true for a 5-stars hotel. Later I understood why it was congested ! Not everyone there were the residents of the hotel, and the route to the hotel suites is through the casino ! There's no segregation between the hotel and casino, it's one entity. Of course, there are kids-friendly path to the suites, but it's far away. I find the organization and layout could be improved though to cater for a different group of guest, but obviously, the casino is the main business target here. We had to walk a mile with our luggage to our suite, because to have a bell boy to help us, it needed about 30 min!

Wow… I must admit that the paintings on the roof leading from the front entrance to the casino , was superb - very artsy and impressive, and the pillars are carefully carved and polished to shine ! For a moment, I felt like I'm in the city of romance, Venice ! :) When I arrived at our suite's floor, I thought I was in the "first world genting" hotel (USD30 per night) ! The layout of the floor was "crowded" and the aisle between the 2 opposite rooms was narrow ! The number of suites was massive ! I didn't have a good feeling while I was walking to my suite .. But Thank goodness the suite was beautiful. I love the spacious bathroom and a very comfortable bed with a large living hall just nice for my "yoga corner" ! I was surprised that there's no "master control switch" by the bedside ! No integration whatsoever with the lights, phones or electronics - so you need to switch on and off all lamps individually, which I think is a fairly low-end way to go for a modern "5 star" hotel .

The casino was large, and there was a massive number of people gambling - not that all tables were full or anything, but it was an impressive number of people given its size. There are a massive array of retail stores and restaurants along the canal, and I thought the food court area was a smart touch - a fairly low-grade touch but nevertheless a smart one because it gives all the lower-end punters a place to eat and relax. We tried a few restaurants, "Old Neptune", "No signboard Restaurant," etc. The food price here is a little on the high side. I thought by having Starbucks at one of the entrances to the casino was a smart idea, At least it cater for my need :) The breakfast egg sandwich and tiramisu were delicious ! Yummy ! On the other hand, I couldn't believe I paid HKD 180 for a plate of romaine lettuce with a few strands of meat, croutons and cheese which the "Café Deco" called it caesar salad ! I think the salad bowl that we sell in rotiboy outlet which has almost 10 varieties of greens and egg at RM5.00 is far more delicious and worth the price !

For the days we were inVenetians, we only shopped, played games, and went out sightseeing. Even going out of venetians didn't give us a memorable experience! The way the chinese retail staff served their customer was like a loan shark asking you to pay your debt ! It's not unfriendly, but they were so rude telling us off upfront when we asked more information on the product we wanted to buy... I really pity them because they lost customers just because they have a mindset "made in china" !! I was shocked, especially coming from bangkok, I felt the huge gap in service level ! That actually spoiled our day.

Back to the hotel, there was only 1 miserable show in the whole resort ! And we gave it a pass because it didn't look exceptionally impressive compared to other acrobatic shows we watched. I was thinking they have international standard stage shows like "Phantom of the opera ", musical dance shows, artistic musical acts like the ones I watched in Disneyland or at least some varieties of shows. Unfortunately, there were none, take it or leave it! The architecture of the pool was elegantly designed, the Jacuzzi was as big as 3 persons could go in comfortably, But all were outdoor, and it's winter now, So, my dream of soaking in a warm Jacuzzi indoor was damaged ! The only excitement I got here was testing my judgment every time I placed a bet on the table and looking at others peeping at the cards, praying, cheering, and doing all sorts of superstitious acts in hope that luck stays with them… :) I learned quite a few things though… this is definitely a place to build one's courage ! For me, I enjoyed the bands more than the poker game..

Out of boredom, we decided to shorten our little vacation. On our final night here, by chance we found an amazing place far away from the main attractions - The diplomat Lounge, located in the Four Seasons's casino. I prefer that casino, it's less congested and the band was good ..

During checked out, we walked ourselves with our luggage to the reception, just the same way when we checked in. In the lift, we met a young looking manager, this should be a good chance to highlight some of the hiccups in service that the managers should be more than happy to know in order for them to improve their performance, so I thought.. I told him that the hotel probably need more staff cater for service, like more efficient bellboys ! He gave us a ridiculous answer … he said "we do have bellboys, but the hotel is too big !" I was stunt ! It was a steadfast answer, but to me it sounded like an excuse for them not to try their best in providing the best service ! Any hotel owners would agree that service standard maintains regardless of the size of the premise ! I forgot to look at his nametag. The self-service didn't end there, at the checkout counter, we requested to park our luggage at the concierge because our flight was at night. The "customer service relation officer" showed us the concierge counter at the opposite side and asked us to bring our luggage there. We turned our head to the counter she was pointing, to our horror… there was a long queue of people in front of the concierge counter ! Guess what, there were other guests from other hotels who wanted to visit the casino, and so parked their luggage there. We got so upset with the service they provided for their in-house guests, and demanded them to keep our luggage there and then instead of wanting us to join the queue !

I guess it was a right decision to change our venue to countdown for the new year .. I just realized much later that the resort was opened 5 months ago. No wonder, there's so much room to improve. Well, maybe I'll go back again.. But I think I'll stay in St.Regis or Four Seasons then..

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T00:33:00.000-08:00

It's another Christmas in Bangkok. But, this year's Christmas was unlike the other years, I'm not only singing Christmas carols with a group of strangers in the midnight mass, but I was with someone dear to my heart...someone who brought my smile back a year ago and my world became as colorful as rainbow since. I truly feel what it means by "life's a roller coaster", and that's when I asked myself what's my purpose here … :)

I thought this would be another humbly lonely christmas for me, little did I expect today would allow me to experience the reasons for the season more profound than I would have imagined. My mum called me to wish me a merry christmas! I know it sounded so normal and nothing to shout about, but it's an emotional thing for me.. :') it's the first time.. ! I felt so loved as much as stupid as a daughter, I should be the one calling her instead, isn't it? While I was conversing with mum on the phone regarding home affairs, Silently, I was smiling sweetly because my mum's becoming more open minded and receptive to the changing world.. It's a season of loving and giving, and I've got it all.. :)

This was the first year after so long that I was in a church attending midnight mass on a Christmas eve with "someone". More often than not, I was always in a new country where my friends were the guards, housekeepers, hotel receptionists! The last time I "really" celebrated Christmas with close friends was when I was living in Singapore, I was in the choir with my ex. He's a church-goer, and I thought he had some of the criteria of my perfect husband- Christian, sporting, ambitious, smart but unfortunately, he's a mummy's boy! I knew I won't and shouldn't win a mother , thus I gave up on him then, thinking that I would be so grateful to myself for that decision one day when I think back !! :) I did. well, people come and people go, those were the one who got away.. Those were not meant to stay for long, but those were placed in our path to teach us something before the right one comes along…

Anyway, it's a beautiful Christmas, not a white one though… but I'm sure a colourful Christmas is just as beautiful, what matter most is the meaning of the season…

Stranded in Bangkok

2008-11-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

Who knew the moment I stepped into Bangkok on 25 Nov, it would be a 5 days trip instead of 2 days ! The feeling of not knowing when you are able to resume back to your normal life was really exasperating. I couldn't smell any abnormality when my plane touched down that morning at 8am, not even when the cab driver told me "Din Daeng express way rot tit mak mak, PAD mob !" ("The main express way leading to town from the airport was blocked by the anti-government protester, PAD") . He took a ridiculously long way to the town which cost me BT670, that was triple the fare I would have paid at normal circumstance.

Breathee....

In my mind I was cursing the protesters, but still I didn't think the situation was that bad, as I thought the worst that I experienced was 2 years ago during the coup, we were in curfew for 12 hrs, my home/ hotel were surrounded by the army tanks and there was sound of gun fire from far as the hotel I was living was pretty close to the palace and government houses. I was supposed to leave the country for singapore the next day, but the curfew was on ,starting 11pm and I was worried if there's no decision to lift the curfew by the next morning ! Anyway, I hired a trusted driver to send me to the airport after making sure the situation was calm. I'll never forget that journey to the airport, the city was eerily quiet, there were no one except for the people in green uniforms, boots and huge weapon ,rifles, and the normally long stretched of colourful cabs were replaced with huge green army tanks ! As we past the toll counter, the army looked at me and *Jack and they ordered the car boot to be checked, and the cab driver spoke to the army and they let us go. I was scared trying to put a brave front though, but somehow I believed that the army in Thailand were not the ruthless kind, as long as they know we are not harming anyone, they would let us go, what more an angel! :) It was a relief when the plane took off and when we touched down at Singapore, we were surrounded by the local media at the exit gate in the airport, asking questions like how did we get out of the country, was the situation life threatening..........etc.. At night, I saw myself in mediacorp channel 5 news ! then I realized my mandarin was so bad ! Anyway...

Back to the present… I didn't feel the tense situation this time because everything seemed to be normal in the city, business as usual, shopping and massage as per normal ! I started to worry the day when I couldn't find a flight to go out, that was when I realized the main airport was being hijacked !

Well, I was a little frustrated as all my plans had to be rescheduled, but the positive me thought.." this would be a great opportunity to get more massage, shopping,yoga and meet up with old friends for dinner " :P -wink-

5 days passed, and I decided to get out of the country via the alternative route at U-Tapao International airport, near to Pattaya, about 150km east of bangkok. Honestly, I never knew the existence of this airport, but it seems to be an "international airport" which gained its popularity overnight ! The runway at U-Tapao - used as a base for US troops during the Vietnam War - has a small terminal and limited immigration and baggage capacity. With one luggage scanner and a tiny check-in hall, that military base is choked ! It was the 3rd day U-Tapao has been opened for flights operation, but the situation was still outrageous when I was there. I understand the air base has been pushed to its limit accommodating thousands of tourist, operating 50 over flights, which normally handles only 14 flight per day , but I thought a simple system should be in place by the 3rd day to help speed up the check-in process. It was horrendously congested with no proper queuing system, queuing polls, instructions or ushers ! Everyone was pushing with their elbows and knees just to get into the airport hall. Without *Ben as my "bodyguard", helping with my luggage and making ways for me, I think I'll never get into the airport. It didn't end there… getting into the hall was just the beginning !! We queued for 3 hours just to get my boarding pass, then another 2 hours to clear the immigration, then another 1 hour to board, and another 2 hours for the flight to take off… the flight was officially delayed for 6 hours !! Everyone cheered in relief when the aircraft finally took off !!

The air-stewardess was very hospitable… I wasn't feeling well, and she was trying her best to make me feel better. After 1 hour waiting in the aircraft, I became more nauseous and my fever worsened. She gave me some medicine and put me to sleep, it was 9pm then. She told me this is a "rescue flight", so they've got to wait for other passengers who were still stranded in the airport. The waiting was exhausting, but I am grateful that I'm one of the lucky people who were on board MH783, Thanks *Martin for the beautiful souvenir :), It was a generous gesture, hope we'll meet again.. And Thank God for sending *Ben, though he's not on board, by being there distributing water and offering his service, his witty company and compassion had certainly lightened up the mood ! Besides, that's the most beautiful aircraft I ever boarded with MH !

Yoga is "haram" for muslims ?

2008-11-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

I actually expect the elected representatives to be more mature and to have more dept. Banning yoga for muslims in Malaysia ? Excuse me ? I'm so disappointed with our politicians, who prefer to dwell on trivial issues, rather than spending their time to find ways to lower the crime rate in the country ! They are harping on issues that have no relevance to the country. With the global economic crisis, I thought they should focus their energy and resources on how best they could help Malaysians face this financial uncertainty. Yoga ? The issues that these politicians have brought up are disappointing. I almost believe that some politicians exploit racial issues for their own agenda.

I thought Islam is a beautiful religion. Where's the compassion? Is banning a physical workout which is good for health and mind defines the compassion in the eyes of Islam? I'm confused ! I think the state Fatwa Council should do an indepth and thorough study about yoga before jumping the gun and making such decision which deemed to be unnecessary and lack of substance.

The Gift of Well-being...

2008-10-01T03:21:00.000-07:00

I'm going to escape into the tranquility of a tropical island this month...and will be a certified Yoga Alliance yoga teacher after that... ;)

I'm going to journey back to balance, rejuvenation and wellness. I've started a new blog for my new passion for well-being... check it out ... http://juzztbreathe.blogspot.com/

Lighter and Healthier

2008-09-20T02:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last blogged here. I have been occupied a little, juggling between business, personal dilemma and my course in Thailand next month. I was back in Penang for almost 2 weeks, and that's the longest I'm home since last year.. *Jane's the happiest, because I had lunch with her whenever I could. I was in Penang to monitor the business, the new manager and the new menu and outlook for the outlet.

The outlet is better now with the additional menu cater for the customers who are looking for healthier and lighter meal.. like me.. now they can have it here in rotiboy @ queensbay. Well, what's better is the price is 20-30% cheaper than anywhere ! With the world economy crisis, everyone is cutting expense, food included. Everyone in operations has done a good job to develop this range of light meal… *applause* .

I was impressed with the current eating habit in Penang, not only the foreigners (mainly expat ) , but the young generation of working people. Little did I know that there are many who have the same eating habit like me.( Not the coffee part ! *wink) I mean.. small eater, wants to have something which is not too oily, just nice to fill the stomach, not wasting food, healthy, and affordable. What's more... convenient to take away !

While I was there, I saw a customer who took away 12 sets of fresh cuts sandwich to be delivered to his colleagues. We chatted a little, sort of to distract him from being frustrated that the staff took so long to prepare those sandwiches (sorry…it's trainee ;) ) , and he said they have datelines to meet, so they are eating in. :) well, with rotiboy sandwiches, they are sure to meet the date lines with excellence !

Furthermore, I witnessed more youngsters opt for the salad and cakes rather than our signature product… the bun ! Well, it's very motivating to know that the new range is getting an encouraging response from the customers.

After all, the signature product, rotiboybun is still the best-seller among all… :)

Here are some of the pictures of the new products...

In memory of Professor Randy Pausch

2008-08-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

You can choose to be tigger or eeyore ! How amazing it is that we wake up everyday with a choice… Tigger is energetic, curious, optimistic, enthusiastic, and they have fun.. ! Never underestimate the importance of having fun.. If you want to achieve your dream, you got to work and play well with others. And it means live with integrity ! Simple advice from Professor Randy Pausch in his "Last lecture" before he passed away. I like the way he said this.. " if you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.. "

Tell the truth
simple advice that we find it hard to follow !

Apologize (properly)
When you screw up.. apologize ! There are many bad apologies. A good apology has 3 parts : "I'm sorry , It was my fault, How do I make it right … " . Most people skip the 3rd part. That's where We can find sincerity..

Wait. Most people will show their good side.
We all have people we don’t' like, who did things we don't like. But what I found is no one is pure evil. If you wait long enough, they will show you their good side. You can't make them do that in hurry, but you can be patient.

Show gratitude.
Show someone you appreciate them. It's a simple and powerful thing which most people missed out..

Don't complain. Work harder.
You can choose to use your finite time, energy and effort… complaining or playing the game hard. (We can probably allocate 5 minutes to complain... it's human nature to complain anyway :) ), but other times should be used for stretegizing ways to solve the problem, which would probably benefit us for the long run.

The Knowing- Doing Gap

2008-08-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

We are drowning in a sea of good intentions- telling ourselves we have to break this lousy habit, change that rotten relationship, ... So why don't we do it? I read a very interesting book "The Knowing - Doing Gap: How smart companies turn knowledge into Action." I find it very motivating, reading the facts about the corporate world, why our actions often don't match our ideals, and how to swim the gap between what you know and what you do. I find it very true especially when I relate it to my own experience, incidents happened in my life, and people I encountered.

It's just like an oncologist friend, handling the stress of treating cancer patients by smoking like a chimney... Or someone who said "I've got to lose weight" as she finishes her cheeseburger.. Or someone dealing with domestic stress by conducting aldultery ! I read the book as a self-help guide, looking for ways to stop perpetuating behavior I know is bad for me. I picked up some pretty cool do's and don'ts for closing the knowing-doing gap...

Don't substitute talk for action.
My friend, Tammy tells me "I need to talk to you about my bf.. I've been talking to a lot of his friends, and we should talk about what they've been talking about. Maybe he and I should come talk to you together."

Talk, talk, talk. Tammy is tolerating her awful relationship by creating storms of verbiage that make her think she and her bf are making progress, even though they aren't. She's not alone. Substituting talk for action is perhaps the most common way we fall into the knowing-doing gap. We plan, consider, discuss, brood- and count the word-spinning hours as "action". We think we're working towards our goals when in fact we're spinning our wheels.

Do hit your mute button.
If you're not sure whether you're in danger of talking your dreams to death, try something... Make a note on a piece of paper whenever you mutter your usual reminders about cleaning the closet, learning to swim, or finding a new job/boyfriend/condo/shoes. At the end of the day, read over your list and ask yourself , did I do anything that created a measurable change toward each goal?

If not, you're substituting words for action. You can close the knowing-doing gap only by focusing on observable change- not plans, comments or excuses. You don't have to build Rome in a day, small tweaks are more sustainable, and thus more effective, than attempts at total revolution.

Don't rely on fantasy transitions.
One of my favorite cartoons shows two scientists working on a massive equation. In the center of countless numbers and symbols are the words A miracle occurs. This kind of fuzzy logic is actually very de-motivating. Company often fail to act when managers don't know every step in the process they're managing. The same thing happens when individuals have an incomplete plan. Uncertainty stops people in their tracks- smack-dab in the knowing-doing gap.

Do figure out what's standing between you and your goals.
It's all about calibration, spending enough time to come up with a solid plan but not obsessing over it. Compared with vague fantasies about achieving great things, grappling with the nitty-gritty realities of action is hard. It requires research, concentration and creativity. But we're actually happiest when we're pushing the envelope of effort, not when we're lost in daydreams. As you fill in the gaps in your knowledge, you'll feel the kind of excitement that comes from real possibility, not just happy talk.

Don't fight yourself.
When I met Sally, she was married to a wealthy banker who bought her everything she thought her heart desired-jewelry, clothes, furniture. These things, however, were what sally's head desired, but her heart actually longed for the company of creative, bohemian people who had little concern for gobs of cash.

Sally had been at war with herself most of her life. Her socialized side was competing with her inner nature. In the corporate world, destructive internal competition widens companies' knowing-doing gaps. Individuals are just as susceptible: holding two sets of competing beliefs paralyzes them.

Do stop the inner arm wrestle.
If you feel stuck in some area of your life, it's because contradictory beliefs are competing for control of your behavior. The problem is what we're not always aware there is a private struggle going on. One way to figure out if you're in the middle of an inner conflict is to write down a basic belief that's driving behavior you want to change. For example, you may want to get out of a relationship but believe something like "I have to keep every commitment I ever made". After writing down the belief, write the polar opposite of that statement ("I don't have to keep every commitment"). Are there circumstances in which those opposing statements ring true?

When Sally did this exercise, she realized that she'd married for legitimate reasons. Financial security is not an insane thing to want, but compared with a more artistic lifestyle, her original choice seemed false. The marriage ended when she embraced her bohemian side, and Sally began to know passion- in romance, work, learning and living-for the first time.

You can end your internal arm wrestles by (a)discovering your competing ideas and (b)identifying the ones that feel untrue or stultifying. If part of you thinks homemaking is a lowly and servile occupation, you won't beautify your home until you flip that thought. If you fear you're not good enough for love, the part of you that loves will always smash into this competing belief. Find the erroneous thoughts, turn them over, and watch yourself finally begin to do what you know.

Don't track the wrong things.
According to the author, Companies with huge knowing-doing gaps tend to measure things that don't really matter, such as hours worked rather than overall customer satisfaction. Individually, we sometimes have the similar problems. For instance my friend, Molly often complains ,"I practically killed myself to give my kids a good life, and now they're in therapy saying bad things about me" Here's what Molly's kids are processing with their therapist: The guilt and despair that comes from being raised by a mom who used her own suffering as the yardstick of her mothering !

Do measure what matters.
Before you do anything, consider what you're really trying to accomplish and determine how'll chart your progress. Sounds like yet another exercise! If you need to find a place to live, don't count the number of hours you've logged sighing over fabulous floor plans online. Track how many realtors you've contacted, apartments you've seen, letters of reference you've gathered. If you want your loved one to be happy, do things which bring her joy. Whatever it is you really want, count movement toward that, and only that, as your measure of success.

If we could stop substituting talk for action, make a plan that doesn't depend on acts of God, eliminate competing ideas, and measure what really matters, our work and personal life could improve alot - healthy, efficient ,filled with mutual congratulation rather than shared worry and stress. In fact, having read the book, I'm feeling motivated to close the knowing-doing gap myself ! I'm going to the gym now … :)

Yoga portrait of me !

2008-07-23T01:58:00.000-07:00

Oh my god ! This cannot be true :P This is me ? can you believe it? I like myself here ... :) must be the photograper trick !

Marriage Marriage !

2008-06-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

Is this a good year to get married or is it.. time to get married? :) Last week, my classmate got married, this September, my housemate's getting married, end of this year I'm going to be the bride..'s maid for my best friend :) , And.. I just received a phone call from Melbourne ! Guess who? *Joey is getting married next May ! Oh well… oh well… I think it's the age.. For this age, we are like the blooming flowers starting a new chapter of our lives. Attending wedding ceremony is just natural. When we are at our 60's, we'll start attending funerals ! That's a natural life cycle.. :) isn't it ? What happens in between the weddings and funerals ? that's what we call mid-life..

For my married friends, I came across an interesting article on the myth of marriage, I would like to share. It's a bit early for young couples to read this though , but it won't hurt to learn more and earlier I guess..Read on..

5 new marriage rules
Fall in love all over again
By Sarah Mahoney, Good Housekeeping

By the time we reach our 15th wedding anniversaries, most of us know how to handle the ups and downs of marriage. Sure, the wedding china may have a few chips, and perhaps we’ve had one too many spats about who forgot to bring home the milk. But we’ve also learned to negotiate holidays with the in-laws, wrangle tantrum-throwing kids, and talk each other through blown transmissions and career crossroads.

Now, instead of having our accomplishment acknowledged, it looks like we’re in for a whole new set of marital challenges. Friends, family, movies and talk show hosts warn us of midlife marriage dangers like husbands ditching their wives for younger women or empty-nest syndrome catapulting couples into divorce court. If getting the kids into college didn’t force us apart, it seems, then a 20-something blonde will.

Well, maybe not. At last count, America’s divorce rate had fallen to 36 percent, its lowest level since 1970. That’s because, on the whole, most of us like being married, and so do our spouses. And while there are certain challenges inherent in waking up next to the same guy for 5,379 mornings in a row, many so-called “inevitable” marriage pitfalls are really just unexamined old wives’ tales. On closer inspection, two facts become clear: There’s only a trace of truth in each fable — but there’s also the potential to retool them to make your relationship even closer. Here are five of the most enduring myths, plus new rules to replace them.

Myth: Never go to bed angry. If you don’t hash through every conflict right away, it’ll lead to resentment and ultimately blowups.
As marriage folklore goes, the idea that it’s imperative to settle every disagreement before day’s end is pretty well entrenched. (After all, that’s the way some people read that “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath” line from the Bible, as well as how others interpret the pop-psychology dictum “Voicing grievances clears the air.”) And many of us have accepted the premise that if we don’t address disputes at once, all that unresolved conflict just festers inside us and we’ll wake up angrier each day, until someone finally explodes over an uncapped tube of toothpaste.

Ideally, of course, we would all be able to truly forgive every slight and make up before bedtime. But guess what? No one is that perfect. And, in reality, most spouses don’t solve problems well when they’re mad. In fact, “the idea that it’s helpful for couples to air their grievances in the heat of the moment is probably one of the most dangerous marriage myths out there,” says John Gottman, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and author of “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” “Often, nothing gets resolved — the partners just get more and more furious.” When people are overwhelmed by emotions like anger, they experience what psychologists call “flooding,” a physiological response that leaves their hearts pounding and their concentration shot, to say nothing of their ability to resolve arguments fairly or amicably.

New rule: Sleep on it.Conflicts are best dealt with when you have calmed down and are well rested.
Rather than stay up to debate the disagreement du jour, Gottman suggests that couples set aside a moment every night to focus on what’s good about their marriage. Then, “no matter what — if you’re angry, if he’s angry, or if you’re both exhausted — kiss goodnight for six seconds,” he advises. “Sure, sometimes you’ll be so mad or tired that the kiss will last for six nanoseconds. But it will remind you of your enduring affection, and besides — long kisses often lead to something even better than conversation.”

That’s not to say that conflicts don’t have to be dealt with. To make sure disputes don’t get swept under the bedsheets, Gottman recommends having a standing, short “State of Our Union” meeting each week (just not at bedtime). “Take turns telling each other something about your marriage or your partner that you appreciated that week, and then afterward each of you gets to bring up one issue.”

Myth: One day the two of you will just realize you’ve grown apart and fallen out of love.
The fable is that some couples just drift apart as their personalities change or their interests diverge. But experts say if you look closely at most happy twosomes, you’ll be amazed at how little they actually have in common. She could spend every spare hour crafting, and he might be the world’s most ardent sports fan. Yet they’ve discovered ways to be themselves and together at the same time: That means sometimes she knits on the sofa to keep him company while he watches the Reds battle the Mets. In fact, experts say, shared interests or even similar temperaments are no assurance of marital longevity. “If these factors were truly important,” Gottman says, “couples who meet through matchmaking services, which frequently try to pair singles according to hundreds of points of compatibility, would have a better chance of staying married than those who meet randomly. They don’t.”

New rule: A marriage doesn’t run on feelings — it thrives because both spouses work hard on it.
“We need to give long-term partners credit for their marriages,” says Diane Sollee, M.S.W., director of smartmarriages.com. “These couples have probably worked their way through hundreds of disagreements, illnesses, financial problems, kids’ issues, maybe even an affair. They survive because they understand that they are a team, and they work to find ways to come together, whether in a crisis or in good times.”

The truth is, we all change constantly, and that’s a blessing. “If you sprayed fixative on people during their wedding ceremony,” says Sollee, “life would just be too boring.” But make sure you and your husband are checking in regularly with each other, and that all the little marital compromises and negotiations are making you both feel happy and involved in each other’s evolving lives. That way, you can grow together, rather than apart, and, if anything, feel more in love than ever.

Myth: As you both get older, sex will simply stop mattering to you and your husband.
TV sitcoms notwithstanding, the idea that midlife couples settle into sexual hibernation just isn’t true. In fact, many report that intimacy improves as the years go by. After all, once they get through their early-relationship trials and errors, Sollee says, “they find a sexual style that makes them both happy.” And for many wives, sex certainly doesn’t deteriorate in midlife. On the contrary: In a recent British study, 64 percent of women surveyed attested that after they reached menopause, their sex lives either stayed on course or got even better.

What makes intimacy more satisfying is the comfort married couples develop with talking about what doesn’t work for them and — perhaps more important — what does. In fact, psychologists at Dalhousie University in Canada recently found that partners’ communication about what they wanted sexually was linked to their being happy with the sex itself.

New rule: There’s no reason you won’t grow more sexually connected.
Since talking about sex is key to sexual satisfaction itself, make it a priority this weekend — regardless of whether you think your sex life is already OK or not. Naturally, even if you both communicate perfectly well about everything else under the sun, it may feel awkward or even embarrassing to suddenly start giving your husband explicit sexual pointers. So ease into the subject. If it occurs to you that you’ve done it exactly the same way 33 times in a row, you could say, “I can’t remember the last time we made love with the lights on, can you?” Sexual reminiscing may not lead to a romantic interlude, but it will get you talking. And the safer each of you feels in expressing what you like and don’t like, the easier it is to make adjustments that can ramp up the sexual satisfaction on both sides of the bed.

Myth: When the kids leave home, there will be nothing left to keep your marriage together.
Most parents have pangs of sadness when the kids are finally gone, moments when the house seems impossibly quiet or they catch themselves having a lengthy chat with the cat. And some couples really do struggle — but many renew their commitment to each other. “With the kids out of the house, marriages can bloom — when there is a sense of shared purpose,” Gottman says. That communion can sometimes get pushed aside in the daily round of raising a family and making a living. “Some couples may have let that feeling of togetherness die,” he explains. “Then it’s not the kids’ leaving the nest that somehow makes their marriages seem empty. They’ve already been empty a long time, and when the children leave home, the couple finally notices.”

But for many husbands and wives, “marital satisfaction actually goes up once the kids are gone,” says James Bray, Ph.D., a psychologist at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. After an adjustment period of six to 12 months, spouses often realize that they have more leisure time, more money, and more freedom to re-engage with each other. And without children in the house, there’s often less cause for conflicts.

New rule: Your marriage can flourish in that new freedom.
When your kids move out, keep your life full and your relationship central. Compile lists of what you and your husband can do now that you couldn’t before, suggests Bray, whether it’s traveling to Tahiti or having sex on the sofa. “Celebrate! You’ve succeeded in raising independent adults,” he says, “and now you have the opportunity to decide what to do next. Will you get more involved in town politics? Learn to tango? Go out to dinner more often?” Whatever it is, make sure it’s something you both enjoy as you rediscover each other.

Myth: Every guy has a midlife crisis — any day, your spouse will drive off in a new red sports car.
It’s true that men sometimes do crazy things when they reach a certain age. You may feel like snickering at some of their attempts to regain their lost youth, like the balding executive who gets a spanking-new Harley — or a much younger girlfriend. Such drastic changes are fortunately far from commonplace outside the soaps, but psychologists say that most of us will go through a period of midlife reevaluation.

New rule: It’s not a crisis — and it’s not just for men.
Actually, this period of reexamination is a healthy part of development. As people move into their 40s, 50s, and beyond, their perspectives shift. Careers may plateau or take off in unexpected new directions. The first serious health problem may come along, or a parent may die and spur you to rethink your priorities. All of these are natural, inevitable transitions, and the best approach to dealing with them is to learn what you can and follow where they lead you. Fortunately, most people do: A recent poll by volunteermatch.org found that more than half of those over 55 are looking forward to starting new chapters in their lives.

More and more the phrase “midlife crisis” is being swapped for “reinvention”; all across America, you can hear men and women talking about their second acts. But rarely do they mean a full-scale life overhaul. More often they’re contemplating ways to make more time for what they already love. Men who have done a little woodworking take on a deck redesign; women who have always wanted more time to get in shape sign up for their first triathlon.

Not only are these course corrections good for us as individuals, they also seem to invigorate our relationships. People in their 40s and 50s feel they have more control over their work, their finances, and their marriages, reports a multi-university study. Some crisis, huh? Instead of worrying about his issues, focus on whether you’re ripe for reinvention yourself. Rediscover your priorities, and above all, don’t feel you’re being selfish by pursuing your passion: What’s good for you is good for your marriage, too.

My favourite

2008-06-18T18:36:00.001-07:00

When I was based in Bangkok 2 years ago, I was attracted to a video clip (song by Inca) which was screening on the billboard in Siam Square, which I happened to sit there taking a break from work. I love it.. the song, the video clip and all. Did I say I learned Thai by listening to thai song and watching Thai movie? haha.. yeah.. I did.. I love songs and movies.. and that's the fastest way I learn a foreign language ! ;) Anyway, long story short, when I moved to Seoul a year after that, you know what... by accident, I saw the same video clip with different song, in Korean !! I found it very interesting, normally we have songs with different versions, but this is.. similar video with different songs in different countries. The place, ambiance, effect etc are different.. but the essence of the story line in both videos are the same. Even the dog looks the same in both video clips !! I was wondering if they were produced by the same director .. :)

Recently in KL, I walked into the record store, and they were playing the Korean song but in Chinese version.. well, this is normal.. but it reminded me the video I first encountered in Bangkok.. and it brought back a great memory then.. I started to look for the videos again, and I found them... :)

Thai : Ruk Tae Mee Kae Krung Diow - INCA

Korean : KISS - Because Im A Girl

Chinese : Kiss - Because I'm A Girl (Chinese Version)

Brown eyes..

2008-06-16T18:12:00.000-07:00

I first heard this song was in chinese version. I didn't know there's an english version with such a beautiful lyrics. I love the english version... I don't know if they both carry the same meaning.. ??

english : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jui-Q74LQQ

chinese : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN_z8mbydwU

Close escape.. again...

2008-06-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

I didn't wake up this morning expecting my day to be like that. I had a close escape from death ! I had a full day of program lined up and I was ready to start the day good.. So I thought ..

While I was making the sharp bend at the highway, there was a bike in high speed, took over me from the right side and moved towards the left side of my car.. I didn't see him until he was in front of me. That was the sharpest point of the bend. I was shocked and tried to avoid hitting him.. I must have overreacted, my steering got out of control, and my car swayed horrendously to the left almost hitting the highway's steel divider, and I pulled my steering back trying very hard to straightened my wheel, but to no avail. I couldn't pull my wheel straight no matter how hard I tried :( The car seemed to go faster eventhough I stepped on the brake accelerator. That's the first time I felt so out of control behind the wheel, worse than the previous incident where the MR2 car's brake failed while I was driving.

Then, the car flew off the highway, hit on something and continued spinning before it went down the hill slope..in just split of seconds.. I felt nothing, my mind was blank, I felt my heart stopped beating, everything was blurry.. I just let go of the steering, and close my eyes. I knew this was going to be bad..I only prayed the car stopped. Finally it came to a stop, and my mind came back.. I didn't know where was I , It doesn't look like heaven, nor hell... I'm alive :) ! I could feel the car was slanted to the right and was unbalanced, I looked out and realized that the car was about to fall into a big drain but was somehow held on by something.. I didn't dare to move an inch. I remembered I was very calm and relief, as if I had experienced that many times before !

I don't know what's the local emergency no. to call.. So, I called *Hugh and I remembered telling him "I got into accident again, at sg Buloh tol towards Rawang, the car is unbalanced and I'm in the car, I'm not moving, I'm afraid it'll overturn anytime, do I call 999 for help? " *Hugh was very calm too.. He told me just stay where I was and he'll get help.. I stayed in the car for about 3 mins before some very generous passer-bys came to my rescue. They thought I was dead if not badly injured! 5 of them held the car to prevent it from overturned, and one of them helped me out of the car.. I was out of the car safely.. Thank god for sending those kind souls. I don't know how the car could fly almost 30m-40m off the road , flew over the first big drain, landed just before the second drain, and I'm not injured ! I was saved by a young tree which held one of my front wheels..and prevented my car from overturning or falling into the drain.. Yes, I was saved by a baby tree..more like a plant..strong plant..

After the incident, I was a bit disturbed, the frames of the accident kept playing in my mind, everyone was saying how lucky I was to escape that mishap unhurt, but in the quiet space of my soul, I don't know was that a sign of my luck or a sign for my life. That night, I didn't sleep well..I dreamed of *Huay Chyn, my x-classmate whom was killed in a tragic accident in Perth 4 years ago. I never dreamed of her after her wake, I don't know why I dreamed of her after so long. We were having coffee in the dream, and shared our terrifying accident.. It was just a short dream, and before it ended, she told me I was luckier than her. I guessed she experienced the same feeling like I did when the car went out of control and overturned. The feeling of so far away from home, the solitude of that very moment while waiting for help, the thought of not being able to say goodbye, the hope for just one more chance to be closed to loved ones, just to be home for one more time... felt so small and helpless. I missed her. Perhaps the dream was telling me that the impact of the accident might have taken my life like it did to hers, but somehow.. it didn't, and there's more reasons now for me to celebrate and cherish every moment of my life,.. with the people I loved..

It was scary... life is so fragile...so...fragile... one moment, you were dressing up for work expecting a busy day awaits for you, another moment, you had your whole life flashed before you and in a split second, you doubt you would ever see the sunlight again...

Beauty is not only about look ...

2008-06-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

*Tea, a friend of mine called me today and asked me if I want to work part time ! She owns a pub and I used to hang out there whenever I have the time ! Overtime, I picked up some skills in mixing coctails.. haha.. She's a real funny lady who doesn't believe love is blind, she believed the person is blind ! She was always complaining her thighs are too big , her ass is too small, and this round, she thought of going for lypo-suction and she asked for my opinion.

The thing about her is she never get contented, and nothing about herself seems to be beautiful to her. To me, she's perfect... she has her style, successful, always full of laughter, you'll never be down with her around.. she's always at the "high side"... haha.. For godsakes, lypo-suction is for very-obese people... she's barely there !

My dear, being beautiful is not only about having big smoky eyes, sharp nose, sexy lips, 35-24-35 ,etc... Being beautiful is not about having perfect physical look !! The whole street would be full of beautiful people then with the affordable advanced technology in plastics nowadays !

Truth is.. beauty comes in a package ... Your character, Identity, happiness, ones uniqueness.. and all these live in the spirit, not on the surface. I don't define myself by what I see-or think I see when I look in the mirror. I feel it ... inside.. and you'll be surprised how it'll be reflected from inside..

Each thing in its way, when true to its own character, is equally beautiful. - Edward Abbey..

White mice model !

2008-06-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

So happened I was in BM and Jane asked me to be her model a.k.a guiney pig! I think she did a good job.. Don't i look like a sweet bride?

Well, actually it's nice being a model.. You just sit there and wait for people to beautify you..

Make-up by : Jane. http://www.janediva.blogspot.com/

Mel's Wedding

2008-06-06T01:58:00.000-07:00

Another sweet love story...

This guy.. I've heard of him since I was in high school, and *Mel was the reason I heard about him :) He had been a very faithful admirer of *Mel since decade ago! This shows persistence is the key to success :) haha..

I'm so glad that the long courtship ended with a lovely and meaningful beginning... It was a lovely wedding.. he's really something.. I was impressed that he sang Bryan Adams's "I finally found someone" and he sang it so well. I had always loved that song.. the lyrics is so meaningful that it could melt anyone who listened to it. *Mel is so lucky.... yes she is.. I guess it's true that good thing worth the wait.

He must have put in tonnes of effort for the past one decade to finally touched *mel with his sincerity ! I really don't understand and have never understood how this works :) I mean the game of love..

Clearly *Mel has played it so well to have married such a loving man ! He's lucky to have *Mel too.. Both of them were like puppies in love ! Got to consult *Mel how to be a winner here, I can't always be the loser, can i? :) But I think I know what she'll tell me.. "God has arranged someone for you.. Just be patient! " haha .. is it Mel?

2008-06-03T02:12:00.000-07:00

Be Beautiful

I met up with some old friends of mine recently, and they said I looked different in a positive way, especially those I knew in Singapore many years back. They said I just look different. Period. They asked me what have I been doing ? and what's happening in my life ? I told them I don't know... :)

After some thinking, I guessed I know.. it was the decision I made 1 year ago.. I woke up one day and realized that I was doomed and I had to rise above all the lows that was happening in my life.. My health, family, romance.. I told myself countlessly that I need to fight against the tides. I need to be beautiful if I want to be successful...in business and personal.. I don't know where I got that, perhaps I did get some hint from somewhere.. I thought I wanted to be different, and more beautiful and healthier than who I was. My main goal was to avoid hospital in September every year , if you know what I mean !

Something amazing happened when I started to change.. I attracted attentions I never got and people whom I never thought I would befriend with. What I did was, I developed a lifestyle for myself, a different lifestyle from the one I used to have. I challenged myself to wear more dress - my mum would be the happiest people on earth! I challenged myself to have meal alone and at the right time eventhough I wasn't hungry. I challenged myself to cut down caffeine and eat more solid food- my dance and yoga workout helped me a lot in my appetite..

I just wanted to challenge myself into doing something different and see how I change my surroundings and people around me. I don't know is there a scientific explanation to all these.. But my instinct told me that if I want my company to perform at that level I envisioned... I have to let the people know what's my standard and style, and that has to start from what they see in me, my lifestyle, my make- up, my dressing, my conversation, in short, I want to enhance my reputation because it tells the world that I have excellent standards and consistently produce beautiful work.. It allows people to understand my level of expectation of myself and from others. I thought that will attract good quality or people with the similar great taste to work with me. ..It's proven in my own experience.. ;)

In reality, a charming woman somehow will be more preferred than a none charming one.. People would prefer to be friend and surround women with beautiful smile, clean face, nicely dressed compared to someone who care less about their appearance.. It's not bias, it's the truth.. I experienced myself.. Even with a respectable man whom I knew for many years, whom has lots of good values, which goes to say he fairly treats everyone the same regardless of a person's outlook. When I started to change my dressing style, he treated me differently from before, which actually surprised me, a little disappointed though. But It doesn't mean he's a hypocrite, it only means everyone, I mean everyone appreciate beautiful things, people included :)

Change

2008-05-30T02:10:00.000-07:00

I had a long chat with *an couple of days ago.. I was sitting in front of the outlet reminiscing the past months. I've been in bangkok office full time for almost 7 months, and finally the change we implemented has produced some positive results. It's pretty motivating to see things moving as planned...

I've learned something very important while I was here.. taking over a ship cruised half way in the ocean requires a team of bonded-freshed-minded crew to ensure the ship keeps floating, while the new captain identifies which direction to sail. The expectations on the existing team to be able to act professionally and adapt to the new management in a short period of time was just overrated. It's a norm for the existing team to compare the new and the previous management. What we overlooked was, we expect the existing team to keep up and work together with the new management, instead of folding up their hands to see how good was the new management or what the new management can provide them. Without the people, how can the company move forward? Without moving forward, the people would think that the new management is lousy. Seemed that there's wall in every turn. I guess it's easier to build something from scratch, than to find the holes which leak. It's taking up too much time to change the existing team culture. We decided to change the team instead.

It's important to surround ourselves with winning culture, and that means surrounding ourselves with people we like to work with , people who work at the same momentum like we do, people who understands what we expect - 1 time, 2 times, tops 3 times, and people who associate their success as to company's success.. Put it simply - the right person.

This is the first time for Rotiboy to take over a half-sailed ship.. and I was glad that it didn't take us too long to realise that we need to change the status quo. It's not a nice thing to fire people..but sometimes for the sake of moving forward, we need to get rid of the bad apples before they start contaminating the whole basket. *An is a pragmatic man.. He understands all. It was my honor to work with him.

No one likes to change.. people fear change may bring unforseen, unexpected or unpleasant consequences.. But I always believe change is good.. And sometimes change is.. Everything..

I'll miss bangkok's office, especially taking the elevator to work every morning was a priviledge not everyone has ! I love the coffee here, plus the cute delivery guy *wink..

I've had very interesting moments here - both business and personal.. and it had certainly broaden my insights in many areas..

Dream Lover

2008-05-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

My holiday works ! I didn't dream of file cabinets and ovens chasing me anymore or stacked by buns in my sleep !! :)

I had a dream last night, it was so real that I wished I wouldn't have to wake up. I was in love in the dream.. This man completed me. In reality,our path will never cross, because we were from two different kind of world. Somehow we met in different space and time.. We met in a place called AngelLand.. It's blurry, but I think it was an airport.. but the airport doesn't look like one we have in our world.. The airplanes could "talk" and there wasn't pilot in the plane ! I was in a white colour gown or robe, I couldn't decide.. and I have a halo above my head, with huge wings on my back.. (I must have died ! ),my hair was long and curly.. and I looked like the elf in Lord Of The Ring.. haha..

This man walked into the AngelLand looking for a change in life... He said he never felt love this complete.. But what he didn't know was, love has always been in him, it only takes the right person to bring it out of him... There were many angels in pink & blue wings floating everywhere...It felt so comfortable there.

He had this special smell on his body which charmed me to him , and he had this passionate little moves which was very gentle and loving... He's like somekind of mystical creature, because I don't think in reality, there's this kind of man with this kind of magnetic power to draw people to him, and I haven't come across any kind of perfume which smells like his body.

Two ends of the spectrum coming together with unabashed passion. It all started with an eye contact.. This curious little affair blossomed into something magical. He's the love of my life... If only I can meet this man in this world...Love may be blind, but the taste of it is forever..

I actually hated myself for waking up this morning... But I guess everyone has to wake up no matter how sweet or how lovely was the dream... The reality.. But, guess what, I would give up anything just to stay in the dream.. :)

I wish I'll meet my dream lover again tonight..

The Force Of Love

2008-05-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

No one should be alone..everyone should have a soul-mate. Anyone who feels lonely and empty, it means they don't have love. Love is the force that brings us back together, in order to condense the experience dispersed in many lives and many parts of the world.

I read in some books about some sort of belief about soul mate in our life.. It says " "the soul-mate" who is sure to cross our path, if we fail to encounter, she'll just be a get away person. Even if it is only for a moments, because those moments bring with them a Love so intense that it justifies the rest of our days. If we are careless, we can allow our soul-mate to pass us by, without accepting him or her, or even noticing. And because of our selfishness, we will be condemned to the worst torture humankind ever invented for itself- loneliness.."

... Pretty intense huh.. It goes to say that open your heart & mind, and see who's in front of you.. Perhaps, love is just standing face-to-face with you all the time..

Well, it's always good to have someone.. Even if it hurts, even if it's the most painful thing you have to do, even if it's the most painful thing you've ever had to do, I think it's better to have someone to love. I guess it's one of the most rewarding, as well as sweetest thing anyone could give and experience ;) .. it's worth all the risks it brings and the damage it may cause...

Never give up loving...

The Truth

2008-05-24T23:11:00.000-07:00

You mentioned people asked what am I doing hanging out and testing their products, not that I care about how people judge me, but I think I'm glad that you told them the truth..

Yes, the truth is always appreciated, which is she has always been friends to Mr.B, since before everything started, and even when the company declared him as official competitor, she never saw the need to distance him because she trust herself and her professionalism. If she were a low level manager, there's a need for her to do that just for the sake of avoiding any misunderstanding and promotion. But, here, she's the policy maker in the company, and she puts the company's interest before everything in her life, didn't she ? For a single who works 90 hrs per week, it's hard enough for her to meet anyone, now she needs to get approval to have friends? She owns her career and her privacy, and the company definitely doesn't own her. Besides, she considered herself a civilized, intelligent and dignified person, which goes to say that she knows what's she doing..

In fact she always believe keep your friends close, but your enemy closer. Ever heard of that? She walked into this friendship knowingly about him having a reputation. But if he’s a despicable, vile and disgusting son of a bitch, would he tell her so much things? Think about it. In fact, she's ashamed to say this but he’s been the more sincere one in this friendship.

She believes it takes a nice person to bring out a nice person in others, and vice versa. She realized that he's a real businessman when comes to business. He's different from us, or at least her. And he's a real friend when comes to relationship. He's real. Sometimes he's so real that he offended people with his words subconsciously. She believed he would abide by the agreement if he could find the answers to all his doubts and questions then, which will actually gained respect from him, which is something she doesn't understand why didn't we throw that on his face and make him shut up once and for all... You would be surprise, it would make a lot of difference.

She knows very well that she wasn't there , you wasn't there when the incident took place. and *Ken's decision was final and we should respect it. She knows she's out of position here to make any comment but she also knows that everyone sitting on that table was unhappy. Not that she cares about making people happy with their desired figures, she's not here to please everyone, she understands sometimes a win-win situation cannot be met. But, ironically, they resent the figure, but mostly they didn't understand, and no one be bothered to come out and do the explanation. That doesn't sound like anyone whom she knew and respected. She only interested why so ? Were they so despicable that they didn't even deserve an explanation ? If what they do was bad, wrong and disrespectful, and for us to deny them their explanation, what kind of person would that make us? We would be worse than them ! If were her, she would rise above them, and throw the nothing-to-hide accounts on their face !

You can say that perhaps he wasn't a good person when you knew him, that perhaps she's changed him or inside that vile and disgusting shell of his, there's a nice man.

Just for the record, I'm not taking any sides, I just want the truth... at least I can pick a side..

Do we really grow up ?

2008-05-19T12:32:00.000-07:00

There comes a point in your life when you're officially an adult. Suddenly you are old enough for anything. We get taller, older, but do we ever really grow up? In some ways we grow up, we have families, we get married, divorced. But for the most part, we still have the same problems that we did when we were 15.

Have anyone shouted "grow up!" at you? At least I wanted to shout at 2 very respectable civilized grown men today. So I thought. One day, when they look back, I'm sure they will realize how stupid their behavior today, exchanging vulgar, insulting words of anger. I think they were short of whacking each other up, and that's because they didn't meet face to face.

I'm very disappointed with both of them. Both of them are very much alike, yet different with their own characters. I hate to see both of them fight this way because they were both friends before me and both are very dear to me, but it all started with a little misunderstanding.
Later, lead to mistrust, then lead to disrespect, then anger, then fighting fire now ! They are not talking... I don't know what to do.

I tried to help because I have to admit that part if not all of it was my fault. How? I really don't know...but I guess I have to adjust certain things to make everyone feel more comfortable. I thought I should be good at this because it's so high school story ! Guess what, I was wondering maybe I should just leave both of them...and let them calmed down and reflect. But, how could I ? I'm not the kind of "walk-away" person.. They say you don't kick the habit till you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, Sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

Breath.... It seemed impossible to them now, but I really hope they could meet and talk things out, even if it means they have to wrestle ! You know, just because people do horrible things, it doesn't always mean they are horrible people.

It comes to show that.. no matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling, forever wondering, forever young...

Fear ...

2008-05-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

I was talking to some friends about what do we fear most in life... One fear of what future has to offer, another fear of loneliness... Etc. It made me think.. I never fear my future not because I have control over it but because I know I'm a survivor. I like to be alone, but I never feel lonely.. Weird me ! What do I fear? I guess there are a couple of things which scare me... I fear being half-dead, I mean literally half-dead like coma or vegetable (touch wood).. Which goes to show that I fear loosing my freedom, I fear I wake up one day and realize that I've lost the purpose of living, I fear living in regrets... It's all in the mind..

There's much to be afraid of in this world, but what if fear has nothing to do with the deadliest natural disasters, terrorists, gruesome masks, or plastic snakes, or monsters. It's the thoughts in our head that terrify us the most... What if I'm not giving enough ? What if he's just flattering me ? What if we'll never see each other again? What if the chance for love has passed forever? What if ......... what do you fear ?..........

It's not the hardcore kind of fear, but too much of it could make one go crazy... ;) that's still fear...but, this kind of fear is different.. We can control what's in our mind.. Just balance it.

I come to realize that being scared is normal. Being scared doesn't mean we are weak. It only means that we have something to lose. How do we conquer these terrifying thoughts? We start by reminding ourselves.. There's a purpose to life events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard, to test what can kill you or make you stronger..

Uncertainty of life

2008-05-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

What happened for the past weeks were really unfortunate. One week the Myanmar cyclone, another week the Sichuan earthquake. It seemed that the unusual china blizzard during snow storm happened in the beginning of the year didn't mark a good start for year 2008. We have tsunami which marked the dark moments for year 2004, Hurricane Katrina for year 2005 , Cyclone Sidr for year 2007, and the list goes on... It's scary to read the archived list of the deadliest natural disaster in Wiki. You know what's the most scary part? The fact that the numbers indicated there are not of any currencies but human heads !

Watching the world news featuring the homeless and desperate victims scattered all over the big fields, sleeping on the street, to some people, the scene was heart shattering, to some other, the scene prompted the question "where is God?", but what I see is fear... I see fear on their faces... Fear of the survival of their loved ones, fear of the food supplies will run out soon, fear of what's tomorrow has to offer them, fear of the short of funds to rebuild the places... And time is running out...

Being the fortunate one, I felt so small whenever I watched such things. Suddenly, I realized that despite everything that happened, my life is so beautiful .. Uncertain though. It's a lie that human has control for their future...I mean.. Look, even nature has a way to hurt human !

So, cherish ! Cherish every moment in your life. Never go through a day without hugs and kisses... Never waste a day living in anger or regrets... Never live in the past, for you will miss a lot future has to offer..

"I love to have sex with you"

2008-05-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

What if someone tells you I love to have sex with you? I would feel a little offended honestly... God knows I'm a feminist by nature !

But after speaking to a friend of mine today, who happens to be a family & sex therapist now, I have a different view. She called me from the States to give me some information about the Human science and psychology program I was interested in. We used to study psychology together in college, and both of us was shockingly surprised when our professor told us that "sex is one of the basics" in life besides food, water, according to marslow hirachy of needs.

She actually opened my eyes.. she said there's a reason John Gray wrote the book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Men are visual... It's by nature they like to see beautiful women and fantasize about them. But only few men admit their fantasies, because our society has been conditioned not to talk about this openly, and it's considered rude.

The female goes for love first, that feeling of attachment and intimacy, then sex, a good intimate sexual pleasure that will ultimately lead to the highpoint. The male, by nature, is libido, a typical animal instinct that any female he sees, if she's attractive and full of sensuality, commands a second look, probably many more, and the biological reaction is that sudden urge, and the mind starts to fantasize, there's an erection. That too is why males are polygamous by nature. Then comes love for his partner if the intimacy becomes better as time goes by, understanding each other's needs and wants.

With this combination, comes the bliss of their sexual intimacy and that makes both reach the fullest extent of pleasure. Communication is the key to everything, a successful sex life too, which plays an essential part of a successful relationship. Most importantly, treat the woman as a woman and not as an object !

What *AB told me couple of days ago is making sense now. So, ladies, next time a man tells you I love having sex with you, feel flattered because it means that there's chemistry happening between you guys and remind yourself that men are libido first, then comes the love. But once they are in love, it means for a long time... So, give and take..

They are different from us- sensitive, romantic, and affectionate creatures. You've got to train them to be one or get a lesbian.. :) Lesbians are good though..

The breakthrough from loneliness..

2008-05-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine told me that he fears being alone because it makes him feel lonely ! And that feels sucked ! Then I ask myself, when was the last time I feel really lonely? I think for the past years..loneliness was my best friend, besides my job. Don't get me wrong, I brought myself there.. during that moments, I find loneliness was the most comfortable place I want to be. It's not healthy though, especially at my age... But who knows, during that period of time, I've got some emotional and physical breakthrough. I listened to myself, and I focus on myself.. especially during the quiet nights and the hours before sunrise...

That was the time I started to do yoga and meditation, and I found miracle in it. It saved my life...wow ! I couldn't remember when was the last time I really feel good about myself. I didn't know what was it all about... But I felt so.. Focus and Strong... I felt that I'm connecting my mind, my soul and my body... They were "talking" to each other. I just feel so calm, relaxed, most of all I feel good about myself...

Then, my life started to transform. People said I've changed.. They saw glow on my face, and I've never been more beautiful.. Well, that's what people say from what they saw outside. You know what's the truth ? The truth is ... The beauty that they see is actually reflected from the inside..

It's Not black & White

2008-04-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Because what he did was unkind, and hurtful and wrong.. But he's not a bad guy. I'm just saying it takes two to reach this point, it takes two.. It's different expectations..

I'm here working my ass off building the company, helping you cleaning shit, trying to resolve the issues, and I only invited a guest.. And you want to act like that isn't an important thing. You want to act like it isn't a good thing that I'm doing.

Now, that isn't just on me. That's you wanting things to be the way you want. That's you wanting things to be purely black and white. I mean, I missed the times with you. I missed being your life partner in our company's first anniversary dinner, I give you my blessings no matter how long or how painful that took me, and I'm upset that you couldn't give me the same blessing.. I can only envy you because you are able to have the 2 closest persons to you coexist in an event, you know why ? I made it happen for you, because I know it means a lot to you. and my heart is aching inside of my chest, but, you know, that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't count because in a black and white world, I simply dating a guy that you and the company pissed, and that makes me the bad guy.. You know, always.. I'm always the bad guy..

But, let me tell you, It's not black and white in this matter. It surprised me that I'm always the more "black & white" person in the company. But in this very matter, it doesn't have to be, it could be just comfortable in grey zone...

But you know what, even after all the screwed up moods in the morning, I still have to put up a good show for the night and being applauded for "well done, what a nice party" ... I tell you, That's me... The professional who knows what's black & white !

My Birthday

2008-04-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

Get to know this highly mystical specie...

It wasn't a pleasant day for me.. I miss my mum. I was a bit emotional today, and I wanted to celebrate it with my girlfriends but too bad they were not here. I missed my mum's "birthday noodle"... I wanted to ask my mum how she decided to give birth to me. Did she hesitate.. even for a second ? was she afraid ? or she was too thrilled to think of anything. I have great respect for her bravery in bringing a life to this world.. ;) I love you,ma.

Instead of me giving her a gratitude gift, she gave me an ang pow... I've spent the money :) but it's the packet which means alot because it has her handwritting on it. I packed it in my suitcase ;).. I received a huge gift for my birthday this year. Unfortunately, the gift was too blessed as well as heavy for me to keep at this moment. I was a bit lost and didn't know what I want for a while.. that was scary because I normally know what I want.. I was glad that Jane, Wi and Joey called me and talked to me the whole night and day.. While I was deciding whether to keep it, I browsed through my horoscope and I thought it's very me... ;) I found myself.. .

TAURUS WOMAN

A slim rather petite woman. Taurus woman is funny and a jolly person.
Square facial bone structure, high cheek bone. Her round big eyes sparkle
with wit and curiosity. You will not see many round faces Taurus women, and
mainly she will have a strong jaw line.

She is a constantly change person. If she upsets, she will not show it and
will keep it to herself for a long time, and will remember them so well. If
she gets really mad at you, you will suddenly become a totally and
completely stranger to her.

She is a patient person, but always need new excitement. She hates long talk
meeting, long and endless conversation. She can be in love with you today,
and one day she could act as if she has never loved you before. She has
patient with what she wants to do and will never give up until she gets
there. She will be very persistent in what she is doing till she has reasons
for stopping her project, then she will quit.

Money for Taurus woman is not the most important factor in life. She thinks
of money as an instrument for assuring of a good living. She has more
satisfaction in achieving her goals more than satisfaction in fine cloths
and luxuries. If you like a woman who always thinks of love and romance
,then you are dating the wrong girl. You can not tell her to stay at home,
she likes to work and preferred not work at home.

She loves animals and likes to surround by animals. Love is in her head, but
Freedom is in her soul. She has her own idea about love and afraid to show
her true feeling for fear of rejection. She is not the type to talk about
love, but she sure has a strange way to show it. She is not good in showing
when she is in love, but if she loves you she will be honest to you than any
other women.

She will be honest to her love one, but at the same time seems distant. You
will have a good relationship with her, if you allow her freedom. Do not
force her to be with you in a poker game which she hates, but let she goes
out swinging with her friends if she wants to. She will be different than
other girls, and she thinks different is one of her unique quality. She is a
public figure but belongs to no one.She will not stay with you, if she
thinks you are not sincere. She likes you to have personality, but better
not to compete with her. Loves her, but not too much for she afraid it will
limiting her freedom.

She always stand out of the crowd for something she dares to do. You could
see her dress like a poor farmer dinning in the fancy restaurant, or dress
like a nun in an a cocktail dress party. If you are a politician who are
looking for a wife, she will make a good one because she is cleverly smart
and she could get along socially with any type of crowds.

She is not a jealous type because she has to know you thoroughly before
accepting you in her life. She has more curiosity in life than wondering if
right now you are flirting with someone else. If you keep a distant from
her, or go away for a few days, she will miss you more. Even when she is
dating you, she also able to fond of someone else, if you do not have
something she is looking for. She will never disappoint you or hide behind
your back to make you loose face, but she is the type who just going to tell
you to your face that " We're better off breaking up".

She always remember her first love. Taurus woman holds the best record for
divorce for she does not care about how people think of her, but every
things should be done for "Happiness".

She has lots of friends and sure of herself, so you will hardly see she
delays any of her thoughts before her action. If she think of something, she
will go ahead and does it. She has many men wanting her for her constant
changes is the challenge. She can be cute and funny, but suddenly cool and
tough. She has her own style of dressing up, so you could see her dress like
an old mate today, and tomorrow she may dress like she comes from Mars. She
will have that interesting hair, dress and a look unique from anyone else.

She likes to learn about your dreams and your thought. She has fun teasing
you and making jokes. If she did something wrong, she won't hide it from
you, but do not ask when she is not in the mood to talk about it. She hates
to owe people money and take promise seriously. If you promise to pay her
back, you'd better paid up.

If you want to make it with Taurus woman, then do not be jealous or
possessive, do not be narrow minded, do not criticize about nonsense or
small and insignificant matters. Try to like her friends and let she has
her privacy, then she can be very sweet to you.

Wedding On Paradise Island

2008-04-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

I was in Bali for a wedding..

What can be more romantic than be married in a blissful island? It was a breathtakingly beautiful wedding...I would give up anything to marry a man who propose to marry me in a paradise island like this.. ;)

I believe the legend says that those who marry on this island remain in love forever.

It's not surprising though.. It was like in heaven when I saw the clear, simple, elegant pavilion made of glass surrounded by running waterfall and tiered pools, and a central glass aisle filled with colored glass rocks leading to the altar which sits perfectly in parallel with the horizon.

There's a cross in the background which looks as if floating on the Indian Ocean. The clear blue skies and ocean views as backdrop, it's just so...relaxed and romantic. By just being in the chapel, I could feel love is in the air. Yeah.. love should feel this way.. Simple, comfortable, relaxed natural. Unlike the conventional close to home weddings, most of the time I felt it's so...tensed and serious.

Some weddings which I attended back home, the bride was so stressed until she threatened to walk away if the bridegroom doesn't do what she said at that time! I couldn't see myself having custom wedding, I think my family will understand.. if I ever be married(finger crossed).:) I long for more relaxed and informal ceremony so everyone can enjoy the celebration more..

They've got a hot pastor *wink! " when he blessed them in the name of God...he said something funny..".. Si suami Berjanji akan menjadikan isterimu satu-satunya, bukan salah satunya..." (...promise to take your wife as your one and only.. Not one of the many..")

It was an emotional reception.. Later we adjourned for cocktail at the cliff oversees the Indian Ocean, where the couple released a pair of pigeons and some balloons to signify peace and love. So.. So.. Beautiful...

The buffet dinner was set outdoor on the lawn..totally beautiful and.. Balinese. The garden was lighted with Tiki torches and candelabras with flickering flames together with candle-lit palm trees surrounded the lawn.

There's a live band which played jazz love songs...no one can ever forget such romantic ambience.:) The evening highlight was *Liz and Iwan's passionate dance and kiss under the moonlight and a sky brightened up by the magical fireworks...

To me, the wedding was...perfect and truly memorable one.. I'm so happy for you, Liz.

It's a good beginning

2008-03-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Bangkok again.. and I met the new CEO, oh boy.. he's so full of spirit and impressed with Rotiboy's success. Instead of feeling arrogant, I felt a little ashamed..because I know we are not there yet. To me, Rotiboy is only 50% of my dream F&B business, We have the product, and concept.. But we are still weak in many areas, especially in hospitality, marketing, Outlet administration and Training development. Rotiboy is 10 years old this 28 apr.. It's a transition from infant to adolescent. There'll be lots of challenges moving forward, and with God's grace hopefully we are ready for it..

I felt a little tired today, something like "jet-lag", I guessed that's the side effect of travelling too much. Got to remind myself the direction of the traffic ! Working with *Amos actually made me feel nice for the first time in these couple of weeks.. For all the times in Taiwan, all I got was doing guessing game.. Am I talking too much? Can they understand my English or half baked mandarin? Do they know the standard we are looking at? Was I too straight forward with my comments and criticism? Did I hurt their feelings unconsciously ? All these thoughts actually unconsciously took up lots of my energy, which otherwise be used for better purpose.

For the first time in these couple of weeks, I felt a little comfortable when brainstorming and sharing knowledge with others. * Amos is open to all these. He used to work in the US for so many years and his way of managing things and beliefs are almost compatible with mine. We read the same books, well at least this could tell we are looking at the same thing and share the same knowledge. We know what is required in retail and service sector, we believed training is essential for grooming the staff. He had done his homework about this this company, and know very well in order to move forward this company, it would be like starting everything from scratch, especially when the staff resist the change of management,and things were made worse by the previous CEO. Change & Expansion has to be done in parallel, therefore it's a huge challenge facing us.

We realistically defined the current situation, and the strength of our people. The retail staff just care less about customer service, product quality etc. I used to think that any human with a heart & brain would know what's common sense, and if everyone manage the store by wearing the customers' hat, even there's not much training given, I believe it can't be this bad. It's ashamed, but, it is. I totally changed my perspective on human since.. Human is just like plants. Plants not well kept are just wild plants..but if they are put together by a landscape architect, they will be a piece of beautiful art. Everyone needs to be groomed, a trainer is required to guide the staff on the finer points of looking good, portray a professional image and presenting the right impression to our customers, while at the same time staying close to the qualities that make them compassionate approachable, and efficient. In short, work with elegance.

He's very experienced in food business and I'm glad that I have this opportunity to work with him. It's pretty impressive listening to his ways of managing the blacks during his early days as a restaurant manager in US.

It's by fate he found us... Let's hope this arrangement will be a new beginning to a fruitful future ...

First Tray of Rotiboy in Taiwan...

2008-03-13T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today we baked the first tray of Rotiboy in Taiwan. Hallelujah.. ;)

Finally the products are cleared from immigration..I couldn't have a sound sleep for the past couple of days, I know the immigration here is pretty straight forward. But then again, anything can happen.. It's a bit tricky sometimes.

My mind is becoming clearer as the days passed by and seeing more things.. and I think I know why they behaved the way they behaved.. They are not prepared, and they fear we'll think that they are not serious with this business. I tried to understand where they are coming from, Well, it's interesting how different people handle things differently.

I guessed they are distracted with their own business because of the annual sales. But I know they have tried their best to accomodate the things I want, and for that I appreciate it , eventhough a lot of things were not ready on time. I guessed now they can appreciate why I insisted that they look at the checklist I gave them the first day I arrived here. The floor, menu board are only ready today.. The uniform, and packaging only ready tomorrow. Gosh.. It's too close. The cups are not going to be ready on time, now we are using the temporary cups with super imposed logo! The truck is not dressed up.. I don't know all these are part of the plan or what.

But I didn't voice any dissatisfaction, because I could see that they are more serious than before and for that I'm glad. It's just human nature to defend their ego..even more when there isn't enough trust. I guessed that's something our "ancestors" left in our blood.. especially the Chinese warriors philosophy... "Rather to lose your life than loosing your ego... ". I think I'm not chinese :P .. I'm sorry .. because I don't buy that..

Anyway...I understand that the last thing they want is for us to think that they are not capable. So, as much as possible I try to spend time with them and build the trust between us as we know each other more. I'm really greatful that *Jon felt the same way, and understood that all misunderstanding are rooted from the lack of time spent together. All I was asking was open up themselves and be mature anough to accept comment & critism... otherwise it's tough to work together... I'm always prepared to accept any improved methods,manners or matter for the business. We are into the business with one vision. and it's stupid to get into arguments just because of ego or anything like that. I would be more than happy if there's anyone who could share better experience and knowledge with me.. then we can learn together..

At one point, I wanted to let go the hammer and stop hammering the walls down because it started to hurt.. I'm glad I didn't and I'm glad that I was given the wisdom to choose to take the high road and look at the positive side of every situation. I guessed we understand each other more now.. It's another country full of interesting and challenging experience to learn... ;)

I always believe that keep focusing on the goal and you'll make everything else will fade away..

Precious SMS...

2008-03-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today I received an sms from my dad! It may sound normal to some, but to me it's like striking a lottery! Eventhough it's an sms with 7 words, I almost read it with tears.. It's not any sms.. It's my dad's sms! He said "how are you now are you ok?" .. Probably, he heard about the accident from my sister.. I never thought I had missed him so much..

Just breathe ...

2008-03-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

Last couple of weeks was not entirely happy weeks for me. Unhappy things just happened serially, one after another, and I'm almost tired of everything, including life. Unfortunately for me, there's no "my club " here which I could use to do my dance routine- the therapy I used to discharged negativity energy !! Last week I was desperate, and I jogged at the open park opposite my hotel. I guessed I was having a mind block when I was crossing the road.. I forgot the flow of traffic is opposite from my home country. Luckily for me, I was just hit by a bike. Had it been a car, I should be dead by now! The bike came from behind and she stopped in time before me and knocked my leg. It's actually just mild injury. I guessed it's all the unnecessary distractions..

Today, I was infected with a type of virus which caused me to have fever, nausea and stomach upset... :( Seemed that the dark cloud is not moving an inch away for me yet.

I went to the park to do some meditation ... Breathe in very deeply, and connect with my feeling, and breathe it out. This is a very good practice to train and keep my mind and heart remained open. When I was doing this, I recalled what my Godma once said "

"It's not saying no bad things are ever going to happen to you again," But it isn't the bad things that are the problem—it's how we work with them.The average human being thinks that happiness lies in stability, in tying up all the loose ends and having things under control, But actually, happiness lies in being able to relax with our true condition, which is basically fleeting, dynamic, fluid, not in any way solid, not in any way permanent. It's transient by nature."

I felt so much better after the session.. I feel that many times, due to certain situations I'm in, I was tempted to close myself to many things. Partly it's my strong character and for the sake of holding to my principle, which always made me stressed up and frustrated when things don't happened the way I want it. But ever since I practiced this exercise, I felt the sense of calmness... And It's amazing that how things would turnaround when you keep your mind open. It doesn't mean you have to compromise your principle or self values, but it means you could actually draw the situation towards your way. I don't know how this works scientifically, but you could feel the difference..

Let's Talk about Rotiboy

2008-03-05T00:04:00.000-08:00

Strip off your ego ...

I'm in Taiwan setting up Rotiboy here. A new market, a whole new beginning, getting to know the place and people here. I've expected it'll have its own challenge in this new place. When I was in Seoul last year, the challenge was we were not well prepared, and we didn't do a good job in advising them in certain areas. I have to admit that we could be better. In the contrary, here, we tried to advice in every area which we know of and it's the fundamental for the branding, but what we got was that i-know-better-kind-of-response.

Honestly, I'm not here to argue who's better, I have a big picture in my mind, and that's my focus... all I was asking is involve me in the planning. I may not contribute but if I do, it means it's for the good of the brand globally or in tandem with the spirit of the brand. I am here to work together with the local partners, not to humiliate their intelligence, not to monitor whether they have been working, last of all, not to break up the team who has the same goal in making this business a success. It's so tiring having all this emotional challenges. It shouldn't have to be so hard. I just don't understand... Why they can't appreciate the meaning of working together.

I'm not sure I understand correctly myself, but what I know for sure in order to work together, there must be a level of trust, constant communication and you do not act without consulting the others in the team. But, it appears to me that all their doings were for their ego. I'm not talking about just design or promotional ideas, but our expertise areas where certain utensils are better for the work for some reason, they just have to argue over it, perhaps simply because we suggested it, or rather I. But, hey.. when we asked just normal question about their ideas in a friendly manner, they snapped at us like we are robots without feelings. Perhaps, we looked like one! I really can't work with this people. They are just not open enough to accept criticism.

I equate ego with trying to figure everything out instead of going with the flow. That closes your heart and your mind to the person or situation that's right in front of you, and you missed so much. I'm right in front of them. I gave them the checklist of opening an outlet, everyone with a right mind would know that d' checklist is a valuable document to ensure everything goes well without missing anything important. Can you believe what response did I get? " In Taiwan, we can buy things rather easy, there are store nearby which we can buy anything when needed"..

God.. Help me. :( I'm not even doubting Taiwan's advancement in the POS system, leave alone the convenience in getting something. I only ask him one question " Wouldn't it be good if we can list down all the things we want to buy, go and get it once and for all, and we know that part is well handled before opening, rather than going to the store each time we need it?" We are now only talking about things which are within our control and for the outlet opening. We haven't even touch on the operation structure and training, QA, maintenance, KPI, check & balance score card.. etc.. These are all the fundamental skeleton which will lead to operational & organisational excellence. For Godsake's I have lost count of how many Rotiboy outlets I've opened ! If anything at all, they should tap into my experience in opening outlets and planning, not building a wall and prevent me from advising in certain areas, just to save their little ego.

I could have just walked away, and let them do whatever they want, which I think it won't be too bad because they are intelligent people but I can't simply because this is the first outlet, and there's a level of standard and mutual understanding in certain things which we need to arrive, in order to move forward. That's my responsibility. I feel as if I'm holding a hammer and keep knocking down the walls at the door, But they continue building more walls to block the door and prevent me from going into the room, and I have to keep hammering, and they keep building, and I hammered till bruises on my hands..and it started to hurt...:( I'm not asking them to open the door and invite me in, but at least leave the door unlock.

Today, I'm so tired...I'm emotionally exhausted. I went for a jog in the evening and the rough day wasn't enough, I had to be hit by a bike! :(

Another Rotiboy wedding...

2008-03-01T11:55:00.000-08:00

Another rotiboy's partner got married !! I was is seoul for *Bruce's wedding. Korean's wedding was simple and fast.. I couldn't believe that in less than half a year, *Bruce actually got a wife! I'm sure *Jon has got to do with the "set up"... ;) She's beautiful... He's so lucky. I like her wedding gown... simple and nice..

Something else which was very extraordinary happened... *Hugh was in suit !! He never dressed like that, but the groom insisted that suit was the dresscode for the ceremony.. :)

It's been almost a year since we opened Rotiboy in Seoul, and it's been almost 6 months since I saw all of them. I missed them.. :)

Team building

2008-02-12T11:10:00.000-08:00

We had a team building event for our Bangkok company today. I'm actually glad that it happened because this teambuilding went through lots of obstacle to happen , and thank goodness that our shareholders insisted the event to be organized. Otherwise, there's no one in the company who sees the importance of this kind of activities ! I think it is crucial and should be prioritised especially when there's a change in management, it is actually a good time for the staff to get to know the new management.

It reminds me alot of the "hallmark" of my "Red Crescent" days... :) and started to miss everyone..

I knew the training session in school was about team-spirit. But who knew we were going to use that today in the working world. I don't know ! I've subconsciously learned the importance of that value since highschool, but for some, this kind of activity actually opened their eyes to something new... I hope this is really a good beginning for Mr. Bun.

These are the wonderful & supportive shareholders.. did I say funny too ? ;-)

How far would one go in the name of love?

2008-02-09T21:59:00.000-08:00

Chinese new year is supposed to be full of laughter and hopes. But mine was somehow a bit mellow and different from other years. I couldn't feel the joy of celebration and reunion anymore. It's sad but it's the fact. It's ashamed that family breaks up. When reunion dinner was just a routine and part of the culture, not an event you long for to share thoughts and jokes, it means that we've got to face the fact that there's something to decide.

How far would one go in the name of love? If you knew at 25 the things you knew today, would you marry the same man again? I would say that knowing that a person is a good man is not enough, it's also important to know what kind of man you needed before marrying someone. But, ancient times ago, people got married at a very young age, still naïve and confused about life. In the journey of building a beautiful family and life together ,they grew up too and God forbid, some even grew apart because the journey brings together with them changes and challenges which they couldn't overcome. My parents didn't demand from each other what we seem to demand today from our relationships. They are a living proof of 2 persons of different needs, who wanted different things come together to build a life for some reason.

This new year, Everyone has someone or something else in their mind and somewhere to be except being with family members at home. We used to believe that it's bad luck for anyone who fight on new year.. This new year was full of fights, tears and unhappiness in the family. That's why, everyone choose to be with someone else somewhere other than home..sigh.. I think that's the end of our family values.

I pray hard that God gives my family the serenity to accept the things cannot be changed, Courage to change the things she can, and the wisdom to know the difference. " and I just hope my parents knew it was all right if not every single one of their needs were being met by the other, because I think the commitment to the life they shared and created was a bigger reward than anything else.

.. Anyway, something which made my new year a bit brighter was the hang outs with the bitches.. At least it felt like someone's always there no matter what..

What is marriage without love ?

2008-01-10T10:02:00.000-08:00

Recently, I befriended a man who opened my eyes to a whole new perspective of marriage life. This friend of mine had no idea why he married his wife 20 yrs ago ! It shocked me to realize that he married not for love but because his wife threatened to kill herself if he didn't want to marry her ! Of course they were very young & naïve I guessed. Well, as expected if you didn't marry for love, it's just a matter of time infidelity walks into the marriage.

He shocked me the 2nd time when he told me he couldn't divorce his wife because he has a strong belief that everyone should be married only once ! Behind my mind, I was thinking... " if he has such loyal belief, then he's not an asshole afterall. But, how having a mistress is fine to him? " I actually find him a loving man, and I was curious why on earth he puts himself in such a sitution. and so i asked him "what is marriage without love ?"

He shocked me the 3rd time in a day, that must be somekind of record, when he said marriage is not about love, it's about responsibility ! What the... ? So, after 20 years, a wife becomes a responsibility.. and I'm wondering when she'll become a liability? He must be telling somekind of joke! Gosh... I couldn't believe what was I hearing, I was almost loosing my elegance and wanted to splash him with the glass of water in front of me. But, I managed to stay cool and try to put myself in his shoes while listening.

He feels that everyone should do everything in the name of happiness. He's being a responsible man for providing his family with security, comfort & luxury, and he's happy for having a mistress whom he loves. Well, I agreed with both hands-up on the happiness belief ! But I do not agree with him for not divorcing his wife when he found another woman whom he could love and spend the rest of his life with. I don't see how he can't still provide them just the same if he divorce his wife, unless there's some other reasons only God knows what. That is totally unfair for both of the women, and for himself too. I may read him wrongly, but I could sense that he's not happy now. Well, it make sense.. How could someone be happy having so much emotional unsettled baggage? I really don't understand what's he thinking.. He's a conservative man who is not conservative ! How ironic, isn't it? he's unbelievable !

Don't get me wrong. I'm not pro divorce. But that would be the path I would choose if my marriage has reach a point of no return, especially if infidelity were the cause. I think when you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences, and for many people caught in acts of infidelity, the penalty is a life sentence of resentment. If the couple don't have the ability to get beyond it and not capable of forgiveness, there'll be many issues, not big but tiny little ones that will resurface again and again, and well, you can make conscious efforts to suppress them, but from time to time you'll get lax and it comes boiling up. It could be life-threatening...if you know what i mean.

For my friend.. I got this advice from my Godma.. And I'm going to share it with you... " If you're going to have any hope of putting this behind you and save your marriage, then you need to get real closure. She got to be 100 % convinced that you understand what you did to her, her ego, and her trust. Once she believes that you get it, two things can happen. First, she can forgive you. Second, she can be secure in the knowledge that if you ever cheat on her again, you would be doing it with a complete appreciation of how it affects her, and that will give her the freedom to walk away. Since you invited this tension into your marriage, you need to stay engaged until it's squared away or she tells you that she can't get over it. In the latter case, you'll have to choose between serving that life sentence or cutting ties. It was wrong to go outside your marriage, but it would also be wrong to subject yourself to abuse for the rest of your days.. "

I can accept that marriage is not for life, but I cannot accept that marriage is not for love. . .

I always believe that marriage is not a 2 persons' business. It should involve someone who is more powerful as the moderator between 2 persons, especially over a period of time when things are not as "excited" as before. We need Him to hold the marriage together. God is love. To me, a marriage is all about Love, nothing else but Love, period. To me, the vow "for better or for worse, till death do us part" is a very powerful commitment that one has to embrace. Until I meet the man whom I'm confident enough to commit myself, and he too feel the same and has the same belief as I do, I'll not walk down the aisle.

Happy New Year 2008...

2008-01-01T02:24:00.000-08:00

I ushered in the new year alone this year..sound sad but I'm fine. A little emotional though, I called up a blank sheet, and start typing about my life, who was I, what I've done, what I'm going to do etc.. Sort of like self-evaluation ! It was pretty cool, the more I recalled about my life, the clearer it becomes of where I'm going..

I was a risk-taker and I'm still am, eventhough..I'm not adventurous in quite the same way now, but I still love the challenge of testing myself to the limits, flying around the world, I know I've got to live life to the fullest because I'm going to die one day. I don't want to waste a minute. And this year would be just the same, I'm going to increase my frequent flyer miles.. ;)

After setting up the business in different countries, working with people from different status and background, one of the things I learned from all of it was to Celebrate bad news. If a proposal is turned down or something goes very wrong, you go out and have party. Good news, you're happy anyway, but bad news, you've got to have a great dinner and kick up your heels.

We've had difficult periods. And we always faced serious, scary problems. Out of all these, the one thing in the force of nature which I learned would differentiate one person is courage. No doubt that the line separating success and failure is very thin, to cross it, one needs a huge deal of courage. I don't consider myself a very courageous lady. But, I've met many business people who inspired me in many ways, some even opened my eyes. I have a theory about courage. I don't think it's a moment of bravery when you have a rush of adrenaline. Courage is something we level, a kind of force that sustains you. And that's what it takes to face difficult things, to make it through life successfully. It's easy to congratulate yourself on your wisdom, your bravery when things are going well. The challenge is to trust in yourself, your work, your relationship, your gut when they aren't.

I'd thought that seizing my destiny and finding true love would protect me from pain, bad luck, mistakes and failure. I'd clearly missed the point of life. Those things aren't avoidable, they're actually the hallmark of a life richly lived. I've no regrets for all the choices I've made and risk I've taken. Moving forward this year, I foresee I would live an even richer life ;)

In work life, I aspire to be better, setting specific goals for the company and the people who work for me are working for what I believe in. I believe 'a company is its people'. I hope the companies I set up would be managed by the local management on the basis of praising their workers and looking for the best in them, not criticizing them. In the same way that you water a plant and it sprouts leaves, people flourish when you praise them.

I realized things happened no matter what. If I hadn't join rotiboy, I wouldn't have experienced the lowest moments for these 2 decades of my life, which I believed had shaped and defined myself differently for the future I'm facing. Had my parents treated me like a princess then, I wouldn't know how to take my life in my own hands and pushed myself so hard to prove them wrong on the things they thought was impossible. If I hadn't known Bens, I wouldn't gain back my self-confidence, I wouldn't appreciate what it means by accepting the change....

I know You are always there watching over my life, paving my path with roses and stones for reasons only You knew, and I'm grateful for that ..

New Year's eve...

2007-12-31T02:12:00.000-08:00

New year's eve.. Every year I ushered in the new year in different country..This year's in Bangkok. It's pretty big here, the eve itself was a public holiday. We had a small party in the office and exchanged presents. I didn't know this is their culture, hence I didn't prepare any gifts. So, I just passively and happily accepting gifts from my colleagues! Well, I was always very generous with them when comes to souvenirs :) We had the local food... This is *Jas, my tirak ( "darling in thai"), others are the managersand production workers..

Anyway.. Here's the most frequently asked question.. "What are you doing new year's eve?" I pass most of the time.. Because before I could answer, someone else would have answered for me..

Truth was I decided to take a radical step this year- I quit. I quit going out and party all night like before. Well, that's just me.. I can be very abrupt! My friends were shock to hear that I wasn't going to meet them at the club to countdown. I just.. umm..made up my mind to replace the urge to go out and get crazy with stay in and get sane! I made myself my favourite salad and watch the countdown from BBC.

Who knows it's greater staying in to witness the countdown events from all the countries in the world! Then, I did some boxing, clear my closet, and pack my suitcase ready to move back end of this month. My friends would wake up with hangovers while I would wake up with boxes of stuff to give away for goodwill. I felt calm, virtuous... I felt really, really out of it. It felt good, in fact, I may do the exact thing again this year..

Christmas Celebration... rather different ...

2007-12-25T02:06:00.000-08:00

Christmas.. I always love Christmas.. The mass always reminds me of my childhood caroling days back in BM, where we visited houses with Santa Clause, sang carol, had Christmas cookies, exchange presents..hmmm.. I missed those days..I haven't been back for Christmas for many years, I wonder if they still do that nowadays. The last Christmas I really celebrated was 3 years ago in Singapore, at *Trisha's townhouse, where we had turkey and wine, with families and close friends, barbequed by the pool.

In a season of celebration, we missed our loved ones most, and reminisced the scene full of people with laughters, screams, musics etc.. Ironically for this year, I mark the season rather differently.. I spent the day attending church service for the lonely, the lost, and the grieving, and instead of celebration, It's weird i know, but I found the comfort zone like no other place I'd rather be for Christmas. Illuminated by candles, the sanctuary was half full with people who share the common desire- to deal with their depression and seeking strength in navigating one of the most emotionally difficult seasons.

Most who attend have buried spouses or children, lost friends or jobs. Some are facing divorce or living with loneliness. They meditated on poetry, on passages from the bible, on music that suggested both sadness and the promise of peace. Apparently this service has been going on for a long time, they call it Longest Night or Blue Christmas. It takes place at dusk, when the sun sets, marking the light in the darkness. And they attempt to connect suffering with the message of christmas,which is hope and possibility.

It opened my eyes, I found around me people dealing with losses that seemed in some ways even greater than my own. And it has proven the beliefs I found in my healing therapy that simply by being with one another, we could begin to come out of our grief. The darkened chapel was lighted by hundreds of candles, representing grief, courage, memories.. The priest was there blessing the wounded and the lonely, and he reminds us that change can happen, that suffering is not forever, that light will come..

The wedding...

2007-12-13T18:41:00.000-08:00

D' Maid of Honor

What is so great about wedding is that they made us believe again... Even when life has given us every reason not to believe. It's not just the strong feeling between 2 people, it's a decision, judgment , and courage in believing the possibility of love and sharing the obstacle and comfort life may bring…

My sister was like a princess…I'm so happy for her. After all the dramas, finally she's wedded. I hope in the name of Love, she'll live a good life ahead..

*Hugh was so sweet for offering his brand new BMW as the "transport of honor" and himself as the "driver of honor" . 2 sisters in a row, he offered that.. I could never be more grateful for having this friendship . .. thanks ;) and me as the "Maid of honor" ... that's Rotiboy's spirit... ready to serve !

I heard people say if one becomes the bride's maid for 3 times, she will be cursed and live a lonely life for the rest of her life. If this hearsay is true, I'm done! Today I officially made myself the maid of honor for the 3rd time. But I'm not superstitious… I'm going to be *Samantha's maid next year.. ;) of course if she hasn't change her mind by then !! I'm wondering if I'm destined to be only maid to the bride and not the bride herself… tsk! tsk! tsk!

SO glad! so glad !so glad! I was so glad that my lovely housemates (top) made it for the dinner. Our hectic schedules and geography boundaries have made some of us not met for almost 3 year ! Shu yen, my highschool bus-mate came too... haha.. bus-mate is underrated. She's more than that.. my neighbour, my evening laksa mate, my tuition mate, most of all... she's a good friend. And Joanna, my soulmate in College ;) , Room mate in singapore, and partner in all the debate competitions and projects we were in... without whom, I think my victory in college would be tougher. We made a pretty good team, didn't we? I missed the spirit... let's hope one day we'll be back.. I'm mostly touched she could make it despite very short notice given.

After dinner... we went karaoke.. it's *Samantha's first time ... haha.. no one believed her but it's true.. poor girl ! As rarely as we keep in touch, i'm glad that our girlpower is still in us... we sang like ... us.. ;) always & forever...

The Wedding

2007-11-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

Another Grand Wedding in Jakarta

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Congratulationz Lala ... You were a slim and sexy queen...;) hugs !

This is what it is in Indonesia -the more reputable your family is or the bigger your business circles are, the longer the giant size wedding wreath queues ! I forgot to check *Na's wedding wreath.... argghh.. should be longer than La's.

This is me with *La's wedding photo at the entrance (L). Rotiboy Indonesia family... (R), except for *Liz & *La not in the picture.

Guests queuing to give their blessings to the bride and bridgeroom and family members. (L)

me, william, lala, hiro. (R)

the story . . .

I was in Grand Hyatt Jakarta. When I stepped into the hotel, I remembered vividly 2 years ago, I was here with *Hugh and the indonesian partners. The extravagant stairs greeting the guest, the lounge where we sat to finalize the financial plan for Rotiboy Indonesia, everything seemed to be so familiar but as though had happened ancient time ago. I couldn't recognize what kind of feeling I was experiencing then - not regret, not happy, just … reminisced and thank God that I was here again today for a wedding, after all the rough waves we've been through since that day, we managed to rise above that.

Today's *La's big day. She's one of the shareholders in Rotiboy Indonesia. She decided to have her wedding in the same month as her best friend, Na's. How sweet was that… They are definitely one of the "girlfriends" groups whom I knew who stick together through thick and thin, and make each other a reason to wake up the next day when everything else seemed to be bleak. I salute that…

Her wedding was half as big and grand as *Na's wedding 2 weeks ago. I was so happy for her especially when I saw her on the stage and "slim".. Haha.. Weight has been her problem and our topic for many years… She even considered liposuction and having plastic doctors from brazil.. Etc. Gosh..today.. She looked so beautiful.. And *Wil was so handsome..

As usual, "meet at the bar after the reception" invitation ! I met a sexy surgeon in the wedding… she's a Pilipino, and doctor for *Na's and La's family. We drank and danced the whole night… ;) Apparently, she has a boyfriend in Penang ! What a small world… she will be visiting Penang in Dec and I think we could meet up if I'm available.. I didn't know her name.. So I called her "sexy", and guess what, she didn't know my name too… and she called me "foxy" !! Pretty fun lady .. ;)

The wedding of the year.

2007-11-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

It’s all a girl would ever dream for …

by angel.N

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The reception hall (L). The wedding photos at the entrance (R)

Me and the bride (L) . Guest queuing to give their blessings. (R)

the fairy tale . . .

It's a fairy tale wedding. ... Pink roses decorating the whole walk-way from the entrance to the ballroom, a line of pretty receptionists in uniformed pink dresses greeting the guests, Aroma-therapeutic candles lighting the path, romantic themed wedding, a full band of musicians playing live music, with almost near to perfect josh groban & celine dion wannabes singing – The Prayer, beautiful dress and 3000+ well wishers came from all over the globe to give you their blessings.

Wow… anyone would have mistaken this wedding for any of the red carpet events!

I must say… she had it all… Congratulations baby!

She just looked awesome and David looked very handsome too. When I knew *Na, they just started dating not for very long. Time flies and here they are after 3 years, I’m so happy for them. This wedding should be one of the biggest in Jakarta. and the fact that it was held in Mulia Hotel, it meant something. In Jakarta, if you are wed in this hotel, it means you are there....

Of all the things, I love their wedding pictures most. It’s nothing like what I have back home. Their pictures are simple and casual, yet tells a lot and very artsy too. I will want that for my wedding pictures next time… ;)

It was so crowded and I hardly breathe because the whole ballroom filled with food smoke and smell… *Hugh and I went for the least popular food, hence shorter queue! *Li and *La looked very pretty too… they were busy serving guest and dropping the invitation “meet at the bar later”… ;)

Oh.. the bar.. I love the bar counter too… they served all kinds of wine and liquor but specially pushing the scary looking navy-colored liquid which meant to make everyone in the party drunk. It tasted awful and reminds me of the Korean seju.

After the formal reception, the closer friends stayed for another round of party at the bar. The music was changed from Soul and Sentimental to Hip hop and reggae. Hahha… Some of their girl friends even changed from evening gown to Jeans… they are unbelievably powerful and fun girls.

Go Gadget !

2007-11-03T02:28:00.000-07:00

Mr.Sony
by angel.N
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I’m all in love again… I got my new hubby.. Mr. Sony SZ483N.. ;)

I was kinda under the weather for the past couple of days in Singapore. My ex-hubby died on me and all my work just got upside down. I really hate the feeling having to change, well, of course this doesn’t apply to all. But one for sure I hate having to change my “life gadgets”… stuff like notebook, handphone, Ipod, camera.

If there’s no other reason than broken, I wouldn’t change them. It’s a hassle having to transfer the data from one place to the other, leave alone the time you’ve spent getting to know them, and then you’ve got to start all over again getting to know the new one.

Anyway, I think that’s my weakness rather than strength. Because.. you would never know if something is better if you don’t try something new. So... change is good..
This new hubby of mine has all the 4 S criteria I looked for in a hubby… Slim, Sleek, Sexy and Super powerful.

my dance

2007-09-20T22:33:00.000-07:00

She moves

by Linda.

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When I first set my eyes on her, I thought she was a professional dancer. I find her very interesting, because She would come to the gym when the classed ended or had not begin, at very rare hour of the day. No one knew who she was, but her moves made me feel she has a talent. In fact, she inspired me in many ways, new moves, new steps in dance, and the fire in her which made her so attractive and outstanding. She lets herself there… which is somewhere not everyone can achieve. The power of her concentration is amazing.

Then one fine day, she came with her friend which was happened to be one of the dance instructors from our sister academy. So, I got to know her. “angel” just suit her right. To my surprised ..... She said she dance to de-stress !!

Anyway, Angel.. I would like you to know, it’s so nice meeting you, and you are like a rare gem among rocks. Thank you for sharing your dance, knowledge and most of all forgiving me for shooting your moves without your knowledge…^^ and allowing me to have your face in my gym. I know you like the posters.. don’t you?

You promise to post this on your blog. I will have my students to view it and write to you for sharing sessions…

Keep moving baby…

My Dance

2007-09-01T03:41:00.000-07:00

My healing therapy
by Angel.N
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I hurt my ankle when I was doing my dance routines the other day. For a couple of days I couldn’t jump and rely on my left leg, and was crippling to work! Every time I tried to stand on my left leg, I would fall. Today, I had my day off and went to the gym to do some yogalates. My friends would know that I had since picked up this workout and dance as a form of negative-energy-drainage! Well, trust me, dancing your heart out and stretch till your hymen broke… is one hell of a therapy!

As I was trying to raise my right leg and balanced myself on my left leg, I just couldn’t. A little bit of pain on my ankle would stop me from continuing the routine. My mind was not on it and I knew I had to deal with the pain no matter what. So, I stood in front of a wall, and practice the routine again. I raised my right leg and left hand, as though I was going to hold on to the wall in front of me, but I didn’t. Amazingly, I could balance myself on my left leg, and the pain was not as bad as had imagined. I looked at the wall and thought... I was saved by the wall!

The truth is, I feared the pain and I didn’t want to aggravate it thinking that the hurt will be unbearable if I fall. By standing in front of the wall, I knew that even if I fall, I would hold on to the wall, so I won’t hurt my ankle more. But who knows when you start to deal with the pain, it will go away.

Like In life, sometimes we are hurt by people or circumstance. Until we deal with it, we will not move on. And just by knowing someone is always there for you to count on would definitely makes the healing process faster, for it gives you the courage to face with your fear because you know even if you fall, there’s someone out there to hold you.

Sight Seeing ...

2007-08-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

The island once destroyed by Tsunami
by angel.N

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Phuket.. here I come! I stopped by Phuket and spent a couple of days there before starting my new assignment in Bangkok. My plan was to go to a tranquil place to relax and retreat, nothing fancy and boogie!

*Charles was there for work and so the timing was just right. I’m we managed to spend some time together despite his busy schedule. We went island hopping with some of the travelers and eat all we can!

The sea was very rough at that time but we determined to cruise the sea too. Some couldn't take the rough sail and vomited the whole journey of island hopping.

Well, i'm proud to announce that I survived! I'm officially an island hopper !!

James Bond movie "The Man With the Golden

Gun" was filmed at this spot, where James Bond was on the speed boat, u know... Nevemind, i don't know too.. that's what I heard ! I'm never a big fan of James bond movies though, except for the nice cars! Apparently they named these place as “James Bond island after that and became a landmark for tourist ! It’s amazing the power of celebrity has in transforming an unknown place into a landmark !

As a matter of fact, the cyan colour water, with the green trees, and brown rocky pinnacle surrounding the island making that spot a totally secluded and shaded area, are indeed a spectacular combination which could take anyone’s breath away! But, had not James Bond filmed the movie there, the beauty of the island was still unknown. So.. thanks to the director of James Bond!

When the boat slowed down, and sailed as the wave took it, I could hear the birds chirps and the sound of nature. The serenity made everyone so calm, and close to nature and I would do anything to stay there for as long as I could. Just too bad, the weather didn’t help. It started to rain and we have to move on to other islands.

The last stop was Phi Phi Island, the island which destroyed by tsunami. Some part of it has been restored, but some part was still damaged. I visited the village which was hit badly by tsunami. After 2.5 years, the stain of the destruction was still there. And I supposed the memory of the disaster will remain as the villagers’ nightmare for a very long time. I felt sorry seeing it.. I didn’t take any photos.. :(

Then, we moved on to other part of Phi Phi Island which has restored and open for tourist. “The beach” starring Leonardo Dicaprio was filmed here. No one could resist the white fine sand beach and the cyan colour clear water. As soon as the boat docked, we took off our shirts and dived into the water… the tired me who initially wanted to give this island a pass, was instantly refreshed when I saw that island… :)

I found the best coffee in Phuket !!! Look at this ! The look of it is alluring enough to tell that's a nice coffee, isn't it? In fact, that's one of the restaurant's specialty drink. - Phuket Hill top restaurant.

The next day, I moved to Patong Beach, and stayed there for a night before heading to Bangkok. Patong Beach was 100% destroyed during tsunami, so I heard. But it’s 100% renewed now.

I stroll the shopping streets, somewhat similar to Pattaya. Business back as usual, but i heard from my tour guide that the atmosphere now is somehow different from then. Everything seemed to be quieter.

It’s understandable…imagine a few thousands of people died on the land they are stepping on

everyday. Family members, close friends, loved ones died or missing. I’m sure everyone there has a story to tell…

There's Hope by India Arie

2007-08-09T10:31:00.001-07:00

".....There's hope, it doesn't cost a thing to smile, you don't have to pay to laugh, you better thank God for that... "

Beautiful Flower by India.Arie

2007-08-08T10:36:00.001-07:00

This songs is written by India Arie for the girls in the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, South Africa

An Inconvenient Truth - Global Warming Cartoon

2007-08-08T08:50:00.001-07:00

Let's Talk bout' Love

2007-06-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Giving and Sacrificing . .
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I picked this from a book I read recently and I found it totally make sense, especially for couple who thinks love is all about sacrificing…

“There’s a difference between giving and sacrificing. Giving from a heart that is overflowing feels so good. Sacrificing does not feel good. Don’t confuse the two. They are diametrically opposed. One emits a signal of lack and the other emits a signal of more than enough. Sacrifice will eventually lead to resentment. Giving from a full heart is one of the most joyous things u can do, and the law of attraction will grab hold of that signal and flood even more into your life… “

Holiday !

2007-05-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

… Where adventure and imagination set sail…

by angel.N

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I walked into DisneySea with *Jack and the scenery took my breath away. Wow…I had not expected to see something like that when I was queuing outside. I didn’t get the slightest clue from outside that DisneySea would look so amazing! Well, they successfully reach the highest level of customer service- which is- Amazing! They built the whole Venice here, there was a volcano looked as real as the real one erupts when u least expected, we were greeted by a huge Mediterranean Sea set up, surrounded by the walls and buildings made of materials you can only see in the Europe port town. It was really awesome. I couldn’t believe what I saw here.

*Jack and I had our breakfast at one of the pastry house, and strategize our tour. There were 7 themed park –Mediterranean Harbor (where we were), American waterfront, Port Discovery, Lost River Delta, Arabian Coast, Mermaid Lagoon, Mysterious Island.

The atmosphere was just like in the movie Triumph in the sky which was set in Rome. I was so overwhelmed because I love that movie and I always fantasize that career in the movie - airline. When I watched that movie, I felt totally connected with the main actress, and I loved the character of the main actor. I know it sounds crazy! So… we had breakfast while enjoying the opening show by the Disney characters on their very-disney looking ship! The whole place was filled with speakers playing Spanish music… just perfect. At that point, I was thinking if only I can join the management team and learn how they manage such big project so successfully.

After breakfast, we started our adventure.

The American Waterfront… They had the whole New York street built here ! There are American classic restaurant, opera house.. et-cetera!. and there were a huge ship, the one like Titanic, u know.. docked at the pier where the Disney characters performed a dancing play on the stage. I took lots and lots and lots of pictures, till *Jack was a little pissed! :x

The best part of DisneySea was the theme for each section was distinctively impressive; hence it’s always full of surprise when we ventured from one section to another. All equally amazing. And the stage show was so extraordinary; the whole experience was like watching the animation from the TV, but here in real life… really professional.

When we visited the Mermaid Lagoon, I thought that was great, but when we went to Arabian Coast, I was like… Holy Lord !! WOW… suddenly I felt like I was one of the characters in the 1001 Arabian Nights story book where we used to read when we were little. They put up the whole Arabian market there. The staff uniforms, the deco, the set-up, the make-up, everything that you see in Aladdin and the Magic Lamp. We toured the Sinbad adventure…just awesome, for 5 minutes, we lived and breathed in the Sinbad world !! I’m still curious how they manage so many staff at that level of customer service, they look really enjoying their work.

We went to almost all the plays and shows except for the Aladdin’s genie magic show, because it was under construction! I met “Ariel” in her world – under-the-sea ! Ariel!!! Live Ariel… who looked exactly the same as the one in The Little Mermaid animation! I was thrilled ! I wondered who was the make-up artist! I passed some of the roller coaster rides at the Lost River Delta and Mysterious Island .

Sorry *Jack.. I bailed on you! But, I was as excited by the buildings structure, the design creativity, the service level and the ambience.

I couldn’t stop wow-ing the whole time I was there. It’s one of my best day ever…

We had dinner at one of the Italian restaurant in front of the Mediterranean Sea. We picked the location just nice for us to watch the closing show.

That show alone worth the entry price… believe me! It’s… I wish I can have a better word than awesome to describe it. It’s definitely better than awesome!! It’s terrific!!

The setting, Music combination, the meaning of the show, what makes the show so special was, it was made up of Water, Fire, Steel (machine) ,Light and music.. Yes.. No human. It really gave a Bang! feeling to the audience.

Totally abstract, the story featured Love has power over life.. The show started of with a very gentle setting, soft music, a beautiful swan was dancing on the sea. With water, steel & light, they turn the steel into a beautiful Swan! I’m not sure if it’s a Swan, but it’s definitely a beautiful living creature on the sea. And later a fierce creature came into the scene, it was made up of Fire, steel and light. It looks like a dragon living on the sea, full of anger and resentment. All that was presented by the fierce fire and the strong-beat music.

To cut the long story short, however, the fierce dragon was loved by the gentle swan and the show ends with the dragon’s lighted with sparkling red lights, the one we see during Christmas, instead of the fierce fire. So, the white swan had managed to draw the fierce dragon to her side and made him a better living creature. How amazing was that? I stood there, almost weep watching the show. I just got into it so deeply. It’s something that I’ll remember for a very long time… I’ve never seen something as amazing as this… Just too bad, i couldn't snap any shots because the fire and lightings were too extreme for my little camera to capture.

It's indeed an imagination turns reality place...

Holiday !

2007-05-24T21:45:00.000-07:00

The Kingdom of Dream & Magic…

by angel.N

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They have got the tagline right. This place is so awesome!! When I stepped into Disneyland , it felt like stepping into the TV screen, vanished into the world of cartoons, u know…the kind of fantasy you would have had when you were a child. At least I did... I used to fantasize living in the world of Smurf and Care Bears, wondering how they made mushrooms as their house ! Childish, isn’t it? Well, well.. One has to be childish sometimes to appreciate the journey of growing up. It’s definitely a day of de-stress - seeing the entire colourful, vibrant and lively park with different themes.

They have an entrance to the park which looked like a town you would see in the American movie dated back to the early 1900’s. There are 7 themes in the park - the American town look-alike, and the others had a name of its own - Adventureland , Westernland, Critter Country, Fantasy Land, Toon Town (my favourite !!) and Tomorrowland.

Adventureland
You can see lots of greens here. I don’t really enjoy this land, simply I would prefer to go to the real nature if I want to see jungles, or grassland… But our cruise leader really made the whole cruising so exciting, with his jokes, and scares.

Westernland
This was like the scene you watch in wild wild west – cowboys, cactus, gold mines… etc. We went for the cruise ride to Tom Sayer Island, climbed Indiana Jones cave…

Critter Country
The world of the critter.. didn’t enjoy much though.. because we gave the ride a pass.

Fantasy land
That’s where the Cinderella castle was. All the fairy tales we learned and dreamed of… Snow white & the 7 dwarfs, Prince charming, Pinocchio, Alice in Wonderland, Peterpan... I loved “it’s a small world” ride…It was spectacular, the colours, the designs, the sculptures, the service. I was drowned in the animation world.. I wished I could stay in that world forever. Suddenly the fantasy world became so near and real to you, that I actually felt a little ashamed that I have to go back to the real world after the ride. The only regret was no camera was allowed for that ride.

Toon Town
This was so Smurf’s world ! That’s where you could find looney town, downtown, houses with roofs not in proportion with the body, windows were slanted, out of normal human mind designs, all the funny and familiar characters walking around.. U know... Even the gift shops looks like the “Charlie and the chocolate Factory! “ and the service crew and cashier dressed and behaved like the characters in the animation.. Can you believe it? I was just wondering how on earth they train the ground staff so successful !

Tomorrow land
I think it was kind of a new theme. Perhaps, that the reason it didn’t look very interesting to me, or maybe we were quite tired by then. It was about 8pm when we reached this theme. The whole theme featured science and technology but in a very cartoonish way. I enjoyed the 3D ride though… “Honey, I shrunk the Kids” , and they made it so real that you could feel water splashing from the top and mouse running underneath your pants… haha..

Phewww...one full day in the world of cartoon.... I haven't laugh so much for a very long time.. ;)

Let's Talk bout' people

2007-05-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

The power of your surroundings
by Angel.N.
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The difference…who you work with and who you surround yourself with really make a difference. One way or another it does reflect you or affect you or both. The last 20 days of traveling the 3 countries- Seoul-KL-Tokyo put me in a different perspective.

It made me realized that why KL business was stagnant for so long and by God's will it's still doing well. It would have been so much better if it were managed in a different way. My trip to KL was supposed to renew my visa and do my personal things, but I found myself having hours of meetings in office, and worse of all doing the same things I did 3 months ago when I handed over my stuff to the people and left for Seoul. Can you imagine for the whole damn 3 months there were no new things or developments!

Not mentioning launching cakes without an icon box, the new packaging and uniforms were not followed up; the cake catalogue design was not improved after my comments through email. Everything was not well done. Honestly, I was disappointed over so many things and the way they handled things. It made me wonder are they human with brains or bulls that only moved when they’re whacked.

My disappointments with KL deepened when I went back to Seoul. I was away for only 20 days and we only started the business there for 3 months, and yet I could feel there're tremendous improvements in their skills, service, packaging, and product quality. There were new loyalty cards, promotion and packaging. I was happy for the first time being in this business. At least they understood my standards and requirements for the business and most importantly, they listened, took it seriously and followed up from where I started and left.

*Ed even surprised me with the layout of the new outlet. He did a lot of homework about rotiboy and I was so glad. I didn’t say anything. And I know the boss was glad because I didn’t say anything.. ;) They would be concerned if I start to say anything! They knew it that if I don’t say anything, it means everything is well, and you don’t need my praise because it's your job to do it well.

The company doesn’t pay u to do anything less than carrying out your duty..well. I think the bosses have to surround themselves with people having this kind of mindset. Especially *Hugh… he should instill this mindset in the KL team or have them changed.

I once read a book that says..

".. if you want happiness, you should surround yourself with happiness; it doesn’t come itself, which means surrounding yourself with people who make you happy, be in situation which trigger happy moments, etc. .."

So, if you want success in your company, you could apply the same theory… surround yourself with people who can be used to help the company to be successful.

Let's Talk bout' Rotiboy

2007-05-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

Mother’s Day Cake Marketing
by Angel.N.
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Firstly, Congratulations Rotiboy Malaysia for launching yet another sinfully tempting product range – Rotiboy Cakes. Yeah... you can order a cake for ya' mum in Klang Valley,Malaysia if you are overseas.

I learned of that when I was in Seoul, despite having been talking about it with *Hugh for quite a while, but we never got it moving because we were always moving! It sounded more of a concern to me than being proud of them. I didn’t know why I had this mixed feelings then, until I came back this trip.

Mother's day is a goood day commercially for any bakery to take full advantage to promote and push their cake sales. From marketing point of view, we could have done so much more to make our brand more outstanding, and if anything at all, this could be our chance to tell people we have delicious cake in the store and come try it. Instead, the cakes were displayed in the chiller counter passively. It works for other bakeries or cafes because when people walked into their stores, the customers shopped for things because there isn’t anything obvious for them to pick up. So, they tend to look around, and *snap* .. the cakes passively sitting on the chiller were being noticed by chance.

Whereas, in Rotiboy Malaysia outlet,which is so famous for that god-blessed bun, a big majority of its customers walked in with that kind of certain-look..that they want that bun. The attraction of d’ bun was so strong that the customers seldom browsed around the shop wondering what to buy. Even the other bread products arranged deliciously on the shelving had to compete for attention, leave alone noticing the new product laying in the chiller counter. Therefore, the marketing campaign for launching new range of products has to be obvious enough to attract the customers’ attention. Be it banners or human, I think we’ve got to be more proactive and aggressive.

While we say it’s the thought that counts, not so much of the gift, but not having a proper box as gift was a universal mistake everyone agrees. Unfortunately we just committed that mistake. Without having a box, not only we commit to the first sin of retail business which was brand image, we also failed to convey the message of celebrating special occasions with our gifts and cakes.

Packaging is always a representation of gift. We just can’t deny it. I supposed more marketing efforts could actually make our cakes more visible and obvious and make the customer buy our cake at the spur of moments. That's the strategy we should approach because we are not known for cakes and we only started to promote mother's day cake like 2 weeks ago.

Most people who walked by the outlet today could be their first time in these 2 weeks to shop around the mall. With some tables and cake tasting demonstration could actually lure the customers to buy the cakes on the spot. We were always not great in marketing our product using high level marketing approach due to our small budget allocation. But even this round, with a full time marketing manager around, I was surprised that non of her expertise was being utilised to market our products more efficiently and plotting strategies to strike. Instead, I see & heard otherwise.

After having said all that, under all the circumstances they were facing which I listened; I am not sure whether I would have a box for the launching if I were to lead this project, honestly. But what I know for sure, it would be different.

Let's Talk bout' Rotiboy

2007-05-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

There must be a better way…
by Angel.N.
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Sometimes simple things can be so complicated. Dealing with people is never easy especially when it involves communication with different people in the corporate hierarchy. I’m sure you know what I mean. If you have a boss to report to, the problem solved, because all you need is do your job and report to your boss. The cutting point is there and then, others you don’t have to care pretty much.

The situation now, you are sort of the director of the company, and at the same time you had to train the ground people because there was yet another person who was more qualified. Put it simply, you deal with the boss, who was your business partner in other country; at the same time you deal with his subordinates who were assigned to learn the business operations from you, and then transfer it to their subordinates. So, you are pretty much torn apart, or rather stuck in between. Unless you have 2 different personalities, you will find it very difficult to handle. You’ve got to train the ground staff to handle the operations, at the same time train the middle management to monitor the ground staff. The middle management got to learned faster than the ground staff in order to supervise their work based on policy set, until then, the supervision work is yours.

Problems arise when you expect the middle management to report the ground staff’s progression to their boss, but they didn’t. As much as you have set it very clear in the beginning that you would only train the country manager, which in turn will train their people, but because of face value and everything else, you agreed to your partner you would do more than that to speed up the whole process. And when you realized the progression was not promising based on this kind of training methods, of course you had to bring it to the attention of the boss, which was your partner. And so, you change your hat now from talking to the ground staff, to discussing with the boss, to come out with other methods which could be more acceptable to the local staff.

The worst thing that could have happened, only then you realized that was the first time the boss heard about the problem. You are sitting on the table with the presence of the boss and the middle management people, and you knew it instantly things will not turn out beautiful. You are screwed both sides… One was from the boss, your supposedly business partner, who thought you didn’t do your job in transferring the business knowledge to his people. And another was the subordinate, who thought you would stood by them instead of going to the boss. All your initial intention to meet up and come out with a better solutions turned out to be a back-firing, and pushing responsibilities session, which was not the team- spirit you would want in your company.

You tried to make people look good by not making them feel inferior, but when they are not performing, they put all the blame on you indirectly, because you didn’t make that clear to them in the first place…ring a bell? Then you start to think was it really you who caused the problem by being too kind and forgiving or was it them who had a cloudy judgment and misunderstood the whole business deal.

Is that the best they can do? Belittle and putting the blame on others?

Let's Talk bout' Rotiboy

2007-04-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

Mad House in Rotiboy Outlet
by Angel.N.
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What’s new? Rotiboy is always known for anything but ordinary. Have you heard of a bun being sold in the ‘black market’ for double the price of the original? Well, I’ve heard lots of it on vcd, but ‘bun’? What the heck…Even the 2nd rated vcd sold in black market was half the original price ! So…this is one hell of a special bun. The maddest news in bread history I supposed. (I’m talking bread history bread-history, not the bakery brand Bread History! ). I can definitely pass for Rotiboy spokesperson, yeah! I fall for Rotiboy 9 years ago, and I’m still in.. Anyone can beat me with the numbers? *wink.

If anyone should know why d’ boy is so special, it has to be me. They use passionate bread lovers to bake blissful bread for passionate customers. If anyone could qualify as a good Rotiboy Store Manager (in the eyes of Rotiboy Founder), he could be good in everything else. I didn’t make this up, Rotiboy staff told me! It takes you 1 month to be a good baker. But, a good Rotiboy baker? If you think people can be deceiving, this bun is beyond deception! No. No. no Don’t get me wrong, I mean it in a good way. The looks of this bun is as plain as a lady who only wears foundation! No blusher, No eye-shadow, No Lipstick ! Yeah.. Simple was the word! That’s the perception people gets and same goes to the preparation of this bun. But, what they didn’t know is one hell of a bun requires one hell of a preparation! Until you get the chance to really run the outlet yourself, you will not be convinced with the complexity of the operation. It’s all about Strategy.

Today's event was havoc. Unfortunately, not because the customers but the outlet Staff and Managers. It’s new to them, totally understandable. They have been trained for almost 3 months and this was the first time they are baking this huge amount of buns. I was made to believe that everything was well-prepared and was convinced to allow the locals to take the lead for the free-buns give away event. *Damn* totally panic and lost their way, the didn’t plan to get my hands dirty me, had to roll up my sleeves and took over the operation.

At the risk of being overreacting, I instructed the group of Trainee Managers and warned them to do exactly what I said, I’ve got no choice but to set everything back to track and bring their mind back, so they could focus on what they had learnt. Today, the major lapses in the house were:

1. LACK OF PREPARATIONS.
When I arrived outlet at 10am. There was only 2 staff working, a Trainee Manager and a part timer. Hence they didn’t have time to prepare the things I penned down for them the day before. Lack of experience in Rotiboy operation made them fail to realize how crucial it was to follow the procedures I planned for them. Not only was I offended that my instructions were taken lightly, I was mad because I knew the whole day operation had screwed up. *period*.

Put down my beg, put on my gloves, I did the prep myself, and they started to panic when they see I could work that fast. I had to because the time was ticking and it would have to take me another half hour to explain to them in half English-korean language if I needed to instruct them what to do. And we didn’t have that. We have only 7 hours ahead to prepare and give out 3k of buns. In the morning they only gave out less than 200 buns. I hate to blast the proofer and pressure the buns to proof, but I did. Average, we have to bake 20 trays per hour in order to cover 3k.

Honestly, it was no big deal to me; we used to bake double the amount in an hour in Bangkok. But the fact that they ignored my schedule of arranging the buns and the consequence was that at 12pm, I had less than 1 trolley of ready to pipe buns, 2 trolleys of 30% proofed buns and only started to arrange more frozen dough, that made it impossible for them to execute 20 trays per hour if I don’t do the prep myself. No time for explanation, I just had to do what I needed to do in order to restructure the operation for the day to meet the goal. I just hoped the could follow, or get out of the way.

2. UNABLE TO MULTITASK.
I was busy transferring the buns, and expecting the managers to take care of the baking side. Unfortunately, they are not fast enough to multitask. There was only 3 senior staff, 1 new staff. The new staff was as good as invisible. So, we’ve got only 2 staff at baking side, 1 cashier. With their speed of ‘piping’ (Rotiboy’s jargon. It means topping d’ bun with coffee cream in a spiral way), they can’t handle baking and piping simultaneously. Hence, I decided to only let them handle one task and I took over the baking so that at the same time I can do piping to speed up the whole process. And at the same time I could control the front-line and the back-end operation.

3. LACK OF TEAMWORK
When time of crisis, I didn’t wish for anyone to complicate things more, instead be a team member and work as a team. And today’s event was more of catastrophe than a proper rotiboy operation. Working in an outlet, there’s no such thing as one man show. Besides taking care of your own part, you’ve got to watch around you and see if you could help others to speed up things without getting into their way.

Partly I had to admit it was my fault for not being able to communicate in a fluent Korean language. A team could work together as a team when a leader brings them together. I wasn’t doing a good job though, I could get the message across clearer if they understood better English. I was left with no choice but to instruct in English because there were no ready translator at that moment, as this event was not planned to be a disaster. I could understand that when I started to speak English, the staff felt inferior and I hated to make them feel this way. All I wanted was to get things going and hoped they could support and work as a team. But I was screwed, they just couldn’t keep up with the speed and half lost in their own world. I was really disappointed that they were not helping each other. That was the least I would expected from them.

4. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.
All the managers are not lack of knowledge in baking or being manager, but baking rotiboy n being rotiboy’s manager. To be a GOOD rotiboy manager, u need to be able to multitask, sharp mind, and able to predict. Because of the nature of the operation, there's no room to slack. Before you knew it, you don't have buns to sell anymore because you are under-prepared; you didn’t set the operation strategy well. I'm not exaggerating, but running rotiboy outlet is as challenging as playing Chinese chess. I’m a Chinese chess player; hence I know what it means by setting your strategy right, right from the start. To be fair, of course you need to know the game before you are able to set strategy and called it ‘your game’.

Under the circumstances of hot environment (in Seoul, it’s always cool because it’s winter!), fast operation pace, shortage of manpower, tonnes of varieties which affect your decisions, you’ve got to be prepared in every area. But the bottom line to everything can be summed up with 4C’s - Crispy Warm bun, Correct size & color, Customer satisfaction and Controlled Wastage.

5. LACK OF PRODUCT VALUES
For someone who’s not strongly principled, under stressed situations, he/she will be swayed to the direction where the wind blows. Therefore, Rotiboy managers have to have strong principles to be able to determine the quality & standards of the products, because many times the line between ‘reject’ and ‘pass’ was blurred, if not very thin. It’s up to the managers’ discretions on whether the color and the size of the bun were good enough to sell. And this could be different for different managers, as long as the end result doesn’t vary much.

What happened today was a total insult to my judgments. I left the outlet for 40 minutes after making sure they will be ‘safe’ during the period when I was away. To my unpleasant surprise, when I came back, the outlet was selling buns of peanut size! How could they halved my bun size, oh God! I nearly passed out honestly, because I could see *Jack & my guidance for the past months had gone into the drain. That’s the fundamental knowledge. I could still forgo the situation if the size difference was slight, but here we are talking about cup A and cup D, man!

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At the end of the day, the wastage was sky high. Here’s the thing… When you are unprepared; you’ve got to speed up, that’s the rule of operation. And that would mean blasting the proofer, pressuring the buns to grow faster, if you are lucky, the operation doesn’t need to be halted and resume later. If you screw up really bad, sometimes, you’ve got to halt the operation for few hours. For other bakeries or restaurants, it didn’t sound that crucial really, because in the absence of any products, it can be substituted with others. But for Rotiboy, the point of sale is d’ bun, and none other, it would be even more crucial for Rotiboy kiosk (which only sell single line product). If you halt the operation, it would be as good to say that “that shop has nothing to sell”.

The consequences which followed… during the process, there’ll be buns which leak due to high temperature, and there’ll be buns which overbaked due to lack of manpower and lack of focus, and there’ll be buns which couldn’t turn out to be the ideal size and shape due to high pressure of proofing, etc.

So, if the manager took pleasure in slacking, he’s to bear high wastage for the day.

I’ve learned my lesson,

I had failed myself. I had overestimated their capability and I should have seen it coming. Despite a metropolitan city with civilized nation, despite many years of experience in this industry, if there’s one thing they haven’t seen, it’s Rotiboy operation. I totally overlooked it. The only person whom were trained in Malaysia and had felt Rotiboy outlet was not one of them who run the operation for some reason (though everyone knows, if you are the person trained in headquarter, you’ve got to be playing the role of deployment, which in this case, the head of operation of that country. That’s company’s policy.)

As much as being disappointed with myself, I felt situation like this could be prevented if that selected person had taken up the role in operation in the very first place. I should have insisted him to lead the operation like what *Hugh suggested.

I came from zero-background, trained to be in my position today; I thought I was fit to judge it. But I realized, despite a clear subway map, one wrong interpretation; you’ll end up totally lost.

Outdoor ! Hooray !

2006-10-02T03:22:00.000-07:00

White Water Rafting at Kaeng Hin Phoeng, Thailand
by Angel.N.
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It’s an outdoor expedition day !

Thanks to Nattaya being the driver for our 3 hours road trip from Bangkok. ;) Trust me, I was so excited about this trip when Nattaya invited me . First of all, it was the first expedition since the highschool RC days, Second of all, I could take the weekends off from Rotiboy, which was really amazing.

As we hiked through some jungle route to the starting point of the rafting, I reminiscence the good-old-days of Convent U21 , the mock-war, station games, hike at Cherok Tokun hill, Mengkuang Dam. Those days were tougher of course because it was not only taking care of ourselves but also our casualties, our first-aid kits and a lot of considerations have to be made, besides, we cheered as we go. ;) wow.. I just couldn’t believe we were so tough!

*back to now*

This river in Khao Yai National Park was famous for White water rafting during the rainy season (Jun-Oct). We started of with some briefing about the expedition – the ranger familiarized us with the contours of the river, safety equipments and procedures. Here we are ready to go! The river we were rafting was with rapids designated Level 3, for beginner obviously. The highest rapid is Level 5, which is for the expert. The scenery was breath-taking. The whole rafting expedition lasted for about an hour or more.

There was one part where we had to go into the river and swim ourselves… it was freezing cold. It was tough trying to balance my body to keep it afloat with my face facing the sun,legs leading the way, and especially with the fast-moving water kept pushing me to the rocks! That’s the safety measure we had to perform if our boat overturns during the rafting. The bottom-line is to have our heads protected by having it facing upwards. Well, thank God we survived the rafting... ;)

Hospitalized in Bangkok

2006-09-06T09:16:00.000-07:00

I was not feeling well since morning, could be due to excessive crying last night, so i thought. I met up with *Hugh about 8 am and we had breakfast meeting at my hotel. *John bumped into us when he was going to work. He didn't look good and energetic today, yeah, everyone was swamped by the response of the market. I gave him a hug before I left with *Hugh. We visited Future Park (FP) and took over the place. Everyone said i looked very attractive today, but only God knows I was feeling so devastated inside and trying very hard to hold myself together, eventhough at times I felt so tempted to just let go and fall apart.

Later in the afternoon, we went to Hua Lam Pung for a meeting. By then,I felt worst and I couldn't take coffee anymore. Imagine if i say 'No' to coffee.. means I was very sick! *John was in the outlet too. After the meeting i went back straight. I was having fever by then. I felt better after taking a nap. *John called and update me about work, and I told him about *Dan 's visa problem and had to go back the next day, which means that we were going to be short of an experience manager in the store to do training. I was half unconscious then, but still remembered to ask him to take care of *Dan and see what he needs since it's a bit short notice.

I told him i was having fever,diarrhoea and vomiting, and going to see a doctor later. *Jas & *keith wanted to accompany me to see a doctor, but I thought it was no big deal and I could handle myself. I went myself and came back myself. I felt so lonely in the emergency room when the doctor asked me who came with me. That's what happen when you are based in other country to work, your family members were not with you, and your loved one found someone else ! All you had were your good friends. I went back, and *John knocked on my door thinking that i hadn't seen the doctor wanted to bring me to the hospital. I was vomiting and shivering. He covered me with another blanket, tried to make me feel more comfortable, He went to buy some hot drinks for me. but i couldn't drink anything anymore. He tucked me to bed and insisted that i call him if i feel worse anytime..

My condition got worse.. my fever was killing me.. I saw all kinds of images in my dream which made me really drowsy, nauseous, and fainting.. My mind was in a mess and I felt like dying. Everything felt so surreal, and I couldn't tell the reality from the dream. I called *John about 3am. and he brought me to the hospital. He embraced me in his arms and held my hand so tightly..i just collapsed in his arms. sometimes, we really need someone..and this is what i mean.

I was sent to the emergency room just like 1 year ago. I was admitted to Payathai 1 hospital, closest to the hotel I was living. The only difference was the place & person who sent me in had changed. I felt so scared like a year ago. I kept telling *John don't leave me. The nurse pushed me in, and pulled the curtain, I was nervous, and I felt something was "swimming" in my stomach in a rigorous momentum. The discomfort was so excruciating that it was impossible to lie normally on the bed, I crouched on one side of the bed shivering like a mud-streaked fugitive ! A group of doctors and nurses came with the "equipment", 2 were trying to pull my hands and legs apart, 1 was pressing my hand down and tie a tourniquet around my arm, 1 was trying to find my little vein to insert the IV needle. Gosh ! I remembered I was thinking "How about some explanation of what you are doing ?" But then again, I recalled I was in a foreign land, where English was pretty limited. I was distracted when the needle penetrated my skin, directly into the vein.. Thank God, the nurse only took 3 attempts to get my vein ! There came the doctor who was holding a syringe, I didn't know what was in it, he didn't tell me as well ! I only knew I screamed when he injected that into my IV, I could literally feel the fluid "travelled" in lighting-speed into my stomach, and for a moment, it felt like something exploded in my stomach when the fluid "met" the "something" which was swimming in there ! I don't know whether all this made any sense, but I remembered that's exactly how I felt on the bed . The last thing I remembered was they covered me with heated blanket, and for the first time that day, I felt painless, and slowly I slipped into a unconsciousness.

I don't know how long I slept, but I woke up in pain again, I was moaning and crouching. The "thing" was back again, swimming and creating havoc in my stomach ! I was in the room already. It was a private room, if there's any consolation, this was like a 5-star hotel room ! I saw *Hugh was sitting on the sofa, there's no sight of *John. *Hugh went out to call the nurse. They came in with syringe again. :( . Again, I felt like dying when the fluid went into my stomach, the sensation was so uncomfortable that I couldn't find a word for it. After a while, I felt painless, relaxed, and sleepy. Later I found out from *Hugh that they took my blood for testing while I was unconscious. For the 2 days, I slipped in and out of consciousness.

I felt so touched that I had these group of friends with me during my days in hospital. *Jas accompanied me almost the whole day...even when I was asleep.. she was always there watching me. She had to go and get all the toiletries and disposable under garments for me because she's the only female there, eventhough she seemed not, if you know what i mean! *Keith too.. came everyday and accompanied me to watch tv, have meals.. etc. *Hugh as well 3 of them spent almost the whole 2 days with me. *Ling & *John came to visit me after their work shift at night . *Charles was very worried too when he visited me.. he kept holding my hand and telling me to recover soon.

I felt better on the 3rd day, but was still on drip. The doctor came with all the test results, there was no one with me that day. She told me there's nothing suspicious from the blood test, however my body was extremely tired and weak. She spoke perfect English, and she emphasized on the "extremely". Had it not for my youth, it would probably be more serious than this. she asked me to cherish my life, and change my lifestyle so that my body will be healthier and stronger. I thought a lot after that... I asked God why does this happened to me twice in 2 years but different place & setting? What message is He trying to tell me ?

Let's Talk bout' Rotiboy

2006-08-28T03:08:00.000-07:00

Allow No Excuse
by Angel.N.
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This was the first product launching campaign Rotiboy ever organized!

Except for some hiccups here and there, shoutings and screamings, miscommunications between the office accounts people which almost screwed up everything; I would say it was quite a success.

I would like to appologise for being a bitch.

I admit that I was a bit short tempered during the whole 3 weeks of launching. I didn’t had enough rest, hence the brain short-circuit! Plus, the office assholes were not helping by miscalculating the stocks to be imported from KL for the launching, hence the hiccups of stocks which we worked around by transferring the stocks from one outlet to the other. Hell of a way, I won’t do it if there’s other way, because all the outlets had different owners, by right transferring of stock was a NO-NO policy. But, things were simplified because I was the project manager and at the same time I’m the operations Manager here. Honestly, It was so inefficient of me to make this decision. But, the bigger picture was the launching, so, i had to decide to take this path or we had to delay the launching which would cost more.

There was just a slim line between screwed up and screwed well ! Imagine the stock only arrived at the warehouse 1 day before the launching… fuck you- whoever who was supposed to handle the import-export between KL and Thailand. I was just short of having heart attack. Everything was ready – the marketing materials, advertising and promotional banners with dates, PR people (they call it “pretty” here) , PA system, etc, etc.

I couldn’t let them screw up the event, I became the logistic man as well fetching the goods from warehouse to the outlet because the outsourced driver didn’t want to help up after working hour, thank God for *Jack being my driver, and *Keith and *Jas for handling the ingredients and product side, else it wouldn’t have made it.

Looking back now, I didn’t know how we did it… with everything so short of time and resources. ;) I guessed as long as we hang in there and just focused on one foot in front of the other, every step we take was an accomplishment of its own and don’t allow yourself to have any excuse not to continue to the end of the road…